Unsafe Place
by flawlesspeasant
Summary: When eighteen year old Demi flees to her aunt and uncle's house in southern Florida, she meets Joe. Joe is an already married man who is fed up with his relentless marriage. When Demi and Joe meet each other, it's love. But will Demi's very unsafe past cause problems in the new romance?
1. Plan

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the general plot of the story. I do not own the characters in the story, I do not own their identities, and nothing I say or put into the story is a direct reflection omy the true identities of my characters. I do not claim anything I say or put into the story to be true. I do not claim to own anything but the plot and the idea of the story.

* * *

I know what happens if I'm late with dinner. So for that reason, I rush. Sure, he didn't ask for spaghetti, he asked for hamburgers. But we don't have any ground beef in the house, and he didn't give me money to go do the shopping for this month. If I explain this to him, he can't be too angry. Could he?

I check the noodles to see if they need to boil any longer. They're still a little hard, so I leave them on the stove a little longer. I stir the marinara sauce so it doesn't stick to the bottom of the pot.

I miss my mom. Maybe if I call her while he's not home, he'll never notice. And if he decides to check the phone records this month, I'll worry about that at another time. I grab the house phone, because he took my cell phone, and dial the number to my old house. I hope someone answers.

The phone rings and I silently pray for someone to answer the phone. I miss my mom so much that it was almost driving me insane. "You've reached the De La Garzas, and we're not in right now. So leave a message, and we'll get back to you as soon as we can." My dad's voice sounds on the recording of the answering machine. Great. No answer. I can't leave a message on the machine, so I just hang up.

I sit down at the kitchen table and look around. The kitchen is white, very neat and clean. Everything is accented in brown. There's a brown border around the crevices of the walls and brown dishtowels. A very nice kitchen we have in a very nice house. But between these walls, I don't have a very nice life.

I get up again and check the noodles. Why are they taking so long to soften? They're still a little firm, so I leave them on for a while longer. I don't want the sauce to burn, so I turn the fire off. I look at the clock on the stove. It's 4:45.

I go into the living room to rest a little. I turn on the enormous plasma TV and sink into the brown, plush sofa. I watch some show about divorces. I'd divorce him if we were actually married. I'm only his girlfriend, and I'm stuck here with him. I'm stuck without my family, my friends, my dignity and my life. And I can never…ever leave.

I flick through the channels and find something else to watch. I turn on a cheap version of Romeo and Juliet. It sounds funny, but I don't care. I wish I had a love like Romeo and Juliet. Not the dying part, you know. Just the part where it's love unconditionally. I don't know much about love, but I wish I did. I don't know what it's like to love someone, and they love you equally as much. I don't know what it's like to be committed to someone, and what's theirs is yours. I don't know what it's like to make meaningful love with someone.

I only know what it's like to hate someone with a burning passion, but still not want anything bad to happen to them. I know what it's like to be in a committed relationship with someone, but he's allowed to cheat on me as he pleases. I know what it's like to be in a relationship where everything is his, and nothing is mine. And I know what it's like to be forced to have sex. That's all I know about love. And that's all I have known since I was sixteen years old.

Just as I feel the burning jealousy of Romeo and Juliet's relationship, he comes through the door. I spring up fast to greet him. "Hi…how was your day at work?" I ask him nervously. He throws his jacket and his hat to me and I catch them as only I could.

"My day was fine. Where's my burger?" He asks in his gravelly voice.

I hang up his jacket and his hat and follow him into the kitchen. "There is no ground beef to make hamburgers, so I had to improvise," I excuse myself.

"You didn't buy ground fucking beef?" he almost yells.

"You didn't give me the money to do the shopping yet," I almost cry.

"So what the hell did you make me to eat? I'm starving."

"I made spaghetti. The noodles are taking a little longer than expected to cook, but it should be done soon." My voice is cracky.

"You've been home all fucking day and my dinner isn't made? Turn this shit off, I'm going to fucking McDonald's. They can cook better than this shit."

"Trace, it's almost done…it's just the noodles…" I say monotonously and nervously.

"Are you arguing with me? I'll throw it the fuck away my damn self." He says to me. His words are sharp. They almost cut me like little knives, and I want to hide. He gets up from his chair, grabs the pot of sauce I made, and dumps it in the sink. He grabs the pot of noodles and throws them, scalding hot water and all, in the trash can. I have to remind myself not to cry.

He throws his wallet at me and it hits me in my chest. "Take the fucking money and buy some damn food." He growls.

I hold my chest where his wallet hit. It doesn't hurt, it was just unexpected. He walks over to me with heavy steps and gets in my face.

"And if you ever make me anything less than what I ask for, I will cut off your cell phone for a fucking month. Understand, princess?" The way he says "princess" isn't lovingly.

I nod, and he roughly presses his lips to mine. His breath tastes like hard beer and cigarettes. "I'm going over Hanna's after I go eat, so don't wait up for me. There better be food in this house when I get home." He warns.

"Yes sir…" I say, ashamedly.

He storms out the house in rage, and I sit on the kitchen floor. I never cry in front of Trace. So when he's gone, I sob. You know, I really hate myself sometimes. I hate myself, because I allow him to walk on me like I'm nothing. But if I don't let him control me, he'd kill me. And I know he will, without an ounce of mercy. I know that I have to leave. I'm tired of letting him treat me this way. I wipe my eyes and grab the house phone again. I call my family. By now, I know that Trace will know that I called them. But I don't care. I miss my family.

My mom answers on the third ring. "Hello?" she answers. I know she doesn't have this number. I know she doesn't know who this is. "Hello?" she repeats herself. I don't know what to say. I haven't spoken to my mom in three weeks. He doesn't let me talk to my family, because they try to convince me to leave him. "…Mom?" I say into the phone, completely broken. "Demi? Demi, is this you?" she sounds panicked. "Yeah…Mom. It's me."

"Are you alright?! What happened?"

"I'm okay…listen, mom. I want to come home. I don't want to be here…I miss you." I start to cry, and I can't stop.

"Demi, you know that we always want you to come home. Daddy will come help you."

"I can't take any of my things, mom. He knows if I take something. I can't leave… I can't take anything if I leave."

"Demetria, I have watched you stay with him for TWO years. What kind of mother…You have to come home. Forget your things. You need to grab whatever you can and come home. He's gonna kill you."

"I know…um… I'll leave…tonight. I can't leave right now, because the maid is home and she'll tell him."

"Well you can't leave with him still in the house, Demi."

"…I'll sneak out. But mom…I need help. What do I do?" I'm sobbing into the phone.

"Go pack up as much as you can without him noticing right now while he isn't home. Demi, you're not staying there another night with him. Did he hit you?"

"Not today…but he threw something at me."

"Go pack right now. Later on when he's asleep, call me. Just call me. Don't say anything into the phone. When you call me, I'll be on my way. Daddy will come with me… you're coming home tonight."

"…I love you so much mom."

"I love you too, Demi. and you're gonna be alright. I swear."

"…I gotta go, mom. I have to take a shower and stuff."

"Alright. Don't forget the plan."

"I won't."

"Love you."

"Love you too, mom."

She hangs up, and I walk upstairs. I grab one of my biggest purses and stuff a bunch of my clothes into it. I even stuff my cell phone in. I decide that two purses full of clothes is enough for me to take, and I go into the bathroom to take a shower.

I know this getaway was easy to plan, but it'd be hard to actually achieve. I've tried to leave him once, and that's how I got this scar on my stomach. I've tried to leave him a second time, and I ended up with a broken wrist.

I strip off my clothes and step into the open shower. I reach up and turn the shower-head so that it's on my favorite setting. The warm water feels good on my skin. It feels good against my purple, sore bruises. I wash over a bruise on my arm, a bruise on my thigh, and a bruise on my chest. I don't even want to know what my back looks like. I turn so that the spray is hitting on my back. I wince at the sudden contact, but it feels good. My back hurts so bad that I can't lay down on it. I know it's probably a purple-bruised mess.

I grab a razor and shave my underarms, even though I know that there is no hair there to begin with. He always wants me to shave. Even when there is no hair. I shave my purple-spotted legs and wash the razor off. I am tan too. I always have to be tan for him. He doesn't like me pale. I lather the fuzz between my legs with soap and shave it off too, even though it's practically non-existent.

I rinse my body and step out. I wrap a fluffy white towel around my body and look at myself in the mirror. I'm pretty, I think. If you excuse the millions of purple bruises, red scratches and handprints all over my body, I'm very pretty. I have shiny, long black hair that touches my breasts, skin that is so tanned that I'm golden brown, and a round face with chubby cheeks. I also have big brown eyes and full pink lips. I think my best attribute is the tiny little black mole that rests on the corner of my mouth.

I dry myself off and put on a pair of skimpy lace underwear, a pair of basketball shorts, a bra and a spaghetti-strapped tank top. I'm also skinny. He wouldn't like me if I were anything other than. I'm far from stuck up, but I am too pretty for Trace. In fact, he is ugly. Don't know what I was thinking.

I was too worried about plotting my getaway from Trace to do the shopping. In fact, I forgot completely about it.

I'm worried that I'll get a first-class beating from him when he gets home, but he went to Hanna's, so he might not be too angry. Especially if Hanna and him had sex. If he'd gotten laid, he would be in a fair mood.

It's 8:30 now. Too late for me to hurry up and go shopping, so I'll take my chances with hoping that he had sex.

I'm sitting again in the living room when he returns home.

"Hey princess." He says, kind of smug. He's in a decent mood, I presume.

He sits beside me in the living room and gives me another hard kiss.

"Did you grab some food?" I flinch when he asks this.

"No…I forgot." I nearly whispered.

His good mood turns sour quick.

"Didn't I tell you not to forget?! I told you not to forget! You can't do SHIT right!"

I hang my head.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you! Why you always gotta make shit tough?!" he grabs my arms and yanks me up off the couch. Drags me to the kitchen and opens the fridge.

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE WE HAVE FOOD IN THIS HOUSE? HUH?!"

"I said I forgot…" I mumble.

He strikes me hard across the face for "backtalking."

I just close my eyes and silently pray that this would all be over.

"I'm going to bed. You don't do ANYTHING right!" he screams at me again and throws a salt-shaker at my head. He misses.

I follow him upstairs to go to bed too.

Please, god. Let this escape be the one that actually works.

Because I can't live like this anymore.

I lay in bed with him beside me and caress the fiery red welt stinging across my cheek.


	2. Get Out

I lie awake in bed for hours on end, until I was absolutely sure that Trace was in a deep enough sleep.

When I'm almost positive that he's asleep for good, I quietly get out of the bed that we share.

He doesn't budge.

I walk into the bathroom as quietly as possible. I look at myself in the mirror. My face is red on one side, and my eye looks like it's swollen a bit. I'm okay though. I reach under the bathroom sink where I stashed my purses full of clothes. I grab my cell phone out of the bag and call my mom. I let it ring twice, then hang up. I'm praying to God that this escape works.

I hear his easy snoring coming from the room.

If he's snoring, he's pretty deep asleep.

I'm almost worried about how easy this is gonna be. It can't possibly be this easy. In fact, I don't hear snoring coming from the room anymore. I'm nervous now. Like a deer caught in headlights.

"Demi!" he yells from our room.

Holy shit. He's awake…

"..y…Yes?" I call back.

"Where the FUCK are you?!"

"In the bathroom!" I say frantically, desperately trying to stuff my bags back under the sink and keep from crying. I stuff all my things under the sink sloppily.

"Get the fuck back in here!"

"I'm using the bathroom!"

I hear him get out the bed, so I hurry, pull down my pants and sit down on the toilet. I pray for three things. One, that he doesn't decide to look under the sink and find the bags. Two, that he sees that I'm using the bathroom and he goes back to sleep. And three, that he doesn't decide that he's horny. He's actually woken me up out of my sleep to sex on more than one occasion. I ever tell you how degrading it is to be forced to have sex with someone?

He comes in the bathroom, red faced, tired and lazy eyed.

"What are you doing?" he asks, still groggy with sleep.

"Using the bathroom…"

"No shit, Demi. Are you pissing?"

"…No." I lie. He has to think that I'm taking a crap, because then he'll leave me alone. If he knows that I'm peeing, he'll sit here and watch me.

I examine his face. He's not gonna look under the sink, and he doesn't look like he wants to have sex. He looks tired.

He makes a gruff noise and stalks back to the bedroom. I hear the creaking of the bed as he climbs back in it.

I'm crying, but not hard. They're nervous tears. Tears that pray that I don't get caught trying to make a getaway.

I pull up my pants and take my bags from beneath the sink. I sit my bags in the hallway and walk back to the bedroom. Trace is snoring once again, and I am incredibly thankful. I can hear my heart beating in my ears, and I am sweating like a pig. I slide on my shoes, quietly slip on my jacket, and grab my bags. I walk down the steps, and almost cry of happiness whenever I reach the bottom. I grab the handle of the front door. I look back at the house. I kiss the lavish things goodbye, and disarm the alarm. I slide swiftly out the front door with very…very little noise.

My mom's car is waiting on the street for me. My dad is on the porch with a gun in his hands. He holds my hand as we walk to the car. The night is calm, peaceful. Almost as if God knew that tonight was going to be the night for me to leave.

Still quiet, I walk to the car and slide in the backseat. I know it's not over. I've left Trace before. He always finds me and drags me back. I'm still nervous, but I calm myself with the knowledge that my dad has a gun with him.

"Did he wake at all?" my mom asks me immediately.

I struggle to find my voice for a moment, with the realization that I am almost safe for now. "Yes, but he went back to sleep…"

"It's gonna be alright now Demi. you're safe now…" my dad reassures me. I sure hope he's right. It's gonna take a whole lot more than breaking me from a house to make me safe from him.

But now is the truly hard part. I know that Trace isn't gonna let this go easily. My parents' house is going to be the very first place he looks for me. And I know that it won't take him long to notice that I'm gone. I expect to either see him or hear from him early tomorrow morning.

When we get to my old house, I do start crying. I can't help but cry. I feel safe, for the time being. I walk into the house and breathe in the smell of home. The house is just the way I remembered it.

"Do you want to sleep honey? Or do you want me to fix you something to eat?" my dad asks.

I'm not very hungry, so I opt to sleep. Even if I was hungry, I could make it myself. I'm eighteen years old.

I honestly want to just go upstairs, wake Madison and Dallas up and hug them until I can't hug them anymore. I know Dallas will be happy that I'm home. She tweeted me every day that I was away to let me know she loved me and missed me. Madison will probably shit bricks. Dallas told me that she asks about me a little too much. I missed my sisters so much. But it's 1:30 in the morning. They're both asleep, and they'll both be pissed off if I wake them. So I'll just surprise them in the morning.

"Sleep." I say to my dad.

"Okay honey. Your bedroom is still the way you left it. Have a nice night…" my mom says. I notice that she is trying not to look at me. I realize why, though. She doesn't want to see the part of my face that Trace slapped. She doesn't like seeing any of my flesh that is scarred or bruised from him. It makes her feel lousy.

I climb up the stairs and bank right for my room. I actually am tired. I open the door, and immediately lay in my bed. My big comfy king sized bed, with dark red and gold bedding. Surely, Trace would have noticed that I'm gone by now. I'm a little worried.

I decide that I'm too tired to worry, so I get comfortable in my bed and finally give myself to sleep.

It's the first time I didn't have to worry about being awaken to the demands of either sex or food.

I am safe, for now.

* * *

It feels good to not have to wake up and immediately cook breakfast.

I get out of my bed, sore and very stiff. I'm hurting from the sudden change of mattresses, and the fact that my body is battered, but I'm still happy and I feel refreshed.

I go to the bathroom and take a really long pee. After I finish up, I go into my sisters' rooms. They're both empty, so I don't worry about greeting them.

I go downstairs, following the smell of breakfast food. I hear Madison talking to Dallas about meaningless shit. I walk into the kitchen and rest my arms on the counter in front of them. They both gasp when they see me come into the room.

"DEMI!" Maddie yells as soon as she sees me. She gives me the best hug I've ever had in my life. I even pick her up. I have to threaten myself not to cry. Dallas kisses my cheek so many times that I might cry. Maddie kisses my other cheek.

"Guys, lighten up at bit…my cheek hurts." I use that as an excuse for them to stop, so that my tears don't fall. Dallas looks at the nasty welt on my cheek and shudders. Maddie kisses it lightly anyway.

They both stop touching me after that. I kinda wish they'd hug me again, but oh well.

"Sorry…I'm just so happy to see you, Dems." Dallas says. I think Madison is crying, because her face is so red. I kiss Maddie on her cheek and give Dallas another tight hug.

"He let you come home?" Dal asks, struggling to breathe through my tight hug.

"No, he didn't let me. I had to sneak."

"You know he's gonna come looking for you…"

"…I know. And he'll probably be here looking for me today…" I whisper.

That thought sticks with me. Trace is gonna come looking for me. I'm just not sure how early he'll be with it…

"Well daddy's gonna be home all day, so don't worry about that." My mom says as she hands me a cup of orange juice. I nod and smile just to make it seem like I believe that I'm safe, but the truth is, I'm scared shitless.

I'm very worried about what's going to happen. Trace is crazy. I'm not exactly sure how crazy he is, but I know that he is crazy. He's kicked me down steps, slammed me against walls, and threw hot water on me. And he does those things when I'm still living with him. I'm a little scared about what he'll do because I left him…

Instead of dwelling on what he'll do, I sit at a spot at the kitchen table and eat my breakfast. I surprised myself at how hungry I was. I didn't wanna worry anyone, take away the joy of my homecoming.

"Demi, we really missed you. Really…" Dallas mentions, just trying to fill the silence at the table.

"I missed you guys too. So much. Like… I wanted to call you guys so bad, you have no idea."

Maddie is crying again, and I grab a tissue to hand to her.

Madison accidentally knocks over her cup of orange juice reaching for the tissue, and it spills all on my lap and on my shirt.

"Watch what you're frickin' doing, Madison!" my dad yells at her.

I stand up, a sticky, orange mess. "It's okay, Maddie." I assure her.

"Sorry Demi…" she apologizes anyway through her tears.

I use a dishtowel to wipe off my arms and legs.

"Demi, I threw your clothes in the washer. There's a load in the dryer if you wanna go out to the laundry house and get a change." My mom says, trying to clean up the spilled mess on the table.

I nod and go outside. I'm on high alert while I'm outside. I scan around. No signs of Trace.

The laundry house is where we do our laundry. It's almost like a one room apartment. My mom made it into a laundry house because she likes to sit in there and listen to music while she folds her clothes.

I walk the very short distance to the small house and go to the dryer. I strip out of my wet pants and throw them into a basket. I look through the dryer for a suitable pair of sweatpants. My back is turned to the door when I hear it crack open. I talk myself out of a state of paranoia, and reason that it's just my mother.

"Mom, how many of my clothes did you put in…" I start to ask before I turn around and see. It's not my mom that's standing in the laundry house with me. It's him.

We both stand there silently. He's looking at me. His eyes are red and puffy. He is shirtless, body covered in tattoos. Disgusting.

I'm standing there in my crisp white underwear and orange juice soaked tank top.

He finally breaks the silence.

"You thought you were just gonna leave, Princess? You're not very smart. This is the first place you go? Not smart, Princess. Not smart." He says.

I want to scream for help, but my jaw is wired shut in a state of shock and fear. Instinctively, I cover my underwear bottoms up.

"You should just come back home with me, Princess. Save yourself the fight and come with me." He tries to convince me.

"…n…no." I manage to say. I am so vulnerable right now, and I can't yell for help..

He looks over toward the grilling things, and grabs a can of lighter fluid. He squirts it all over the ground. The smell is enough to get high off of.

"No?" he walks over to me and I shiver. I don't even attempt to move out his way. He gives me a hard kiss and bends me backward over the wash machine. He's hurting my back.

"You don't tell me no, Princess. Because you know if I can't have you, no one's gonna." He says roughly in my ear. He smuggles his hand underneath my right thigh and lifts it up so that he's between my legs. I let him go, until he almost takes down my underwear. I'm not gonna let him rape me again. I refuse. I snap myself out of delusion, and defend myself against him for the first time ever.

I push my hands on his chest and shove him with all of my might. I suck in a hard breath to yell for my dad. "Get off! MOM! DAD! HE'S HERE! DAD! THE GUN!" I scream, and Trace gets off me. He knows that my dad goes hunting and that he has a deer-gun.

"Big mistake, Princess." He says angrily. I'm sure he's gonna leave now, because he is afraid of my dad. He's always shown that he had some fear for him. But instead of him leaving, he pulls a lighter from his pocket, throws it down on the puddle of lighter fluid, sets the room ablaze, and flees through the window, blowing me a kiss before he leaves.

I hear my dad fire off three shots at him from the porch.

I try to jump out through the same window that Trace did, but I'm short and there are already flames licking at the windows. I side-step the fire and dash out the front door, completely unburned. I am breathing hard.

"IF YOU COME BACK AROUND HERE I'LL BREAK EVERY BONE IN YOUR DAMNED BODY!" I hear my dad yell in the hoarsest voice I've ever heard him speak in.

I think I was more afraid of the fire than anything, because it wasn't that serious. My dad was able to go into the laundry house with the garden hose and put it out. My mom is standing on the porch, worried.

I'm breathing heavy, but not crying. I can't cry. My dad comes over to me and puts his hand on my back. "Are you alright?" he asks. I nod hard.

I realize now that I'm away from Trace. Getting away from him was one thing. Getting away from him was the easy part. Staying safe from him was gonna be hard. And as long as I was sitting at home, I wasn't safe. Neither was my family.

"Dad, I gotta go… I can't put you guys in danger…I have to leave…" I state my realization in a brave voice.

I know that Trace is gonna keep coming after me. I can't put my parents in danger. I can't put my sisters in danger. What if next time, he decides to set the entire house on fire? What happens then? I can't be here. And my dad knows that.

"We'll figure it out, honey…it'll all be okay." He promises.


	3. Meetings

I end up on a plane to The Florida Keys.

After much debate, my mom and dad decided that the safest place for me to go would be to the Florida islands. I guess they wanted a place that Trace would never guess to look, so shipping me across the continental U.S. was the best way to go. My aunt Kathy lives in Florida, so I'll be staying with her. I'm not exactly thrilled to be staying with my aunt, but I'm not exactly dreading it either. My aunt Kathy and uncle Jason are one two of my favorite relatives.

When I step off the plane, I'm already looking for my uncle Jason. He is supposed to meet me at the third terminal when I get off. I grab my three bags and walked to the third terminal. I don't see my uncle. I decide to sit on a bench.

I really hope I'm able to come home soon. I just need to stay away long enough for my parents to report the abuse and for Trace to be put behind bars. That could take months to happen, though.

I look around for my big, burly uncle. I spot him.

"Demi!" he calls out to me. I gather my bags and walk to him. He hugs me briefly and carries two of my bags without hesitation. I follow him out to his truck.

I throw my bags into the bed of the truck and climb in the front seat.

"Long time no see, kid. You're gonna love it here in Florida. We live right beside the beach, you can go there whenever you want. Kathy is so excited to see you. She's been so excited about finally having another girl in the house. She's about sick of Iz." He chatters while I listen.

The Florida air isn't much different from the California air. It's just a lot more muggy.

We drive up a road, past palm trees and long beaches until we get to their beach house. I get out the truck and look. It's been about seven years since I've been to this beach house. It's a huge house. White pleaded with wide windows that look out onto the beautiful beaches.

I walk up the front steps and walk through the door. It smells like pizza and seashells in the house. It's a nice, homey smell.

I set my bags by the door and then I'm greeted by my aunt.

"Hey kid! Nice to see ya!" she almost yells and hugs me so tight I can't breathe. I smile.

I really am happy to see her.

"Where's Iz?" I ask her. Iz is my six year old adoptive cousin. Uncle Jason and aunt Kathy can't have kids of their own, so they adopted Iz from Lithuania when he was six months old. Iz has cerebral palsy. Iz is a sweetheart, though.

"He's upstairs taking his nap. He was excited when I told him you were coming."

"I'm excited to see him." I say.

"You hungry kid? I got some pizza and breadsticks."

"Um..yeah. I'll eat a little later, I wanna go check out the beach."

"Jason knew you were gonna wanna go to the beach. Take the convertible when you go. Your room is the first room to the left when you go upstairs."

"You guys aren't gonna come to the beach with me?"

"Yeah, we might take a trip down there when Iz wakes up."

"Okay…see you aunt Kath." I grab my bags and take them upstairs. The room they gave me is huge. There are glass window-walls with dark blue curtains draped. The view is amazing. One of the windows slides, and I can go sit out on the deck if I want. The bed is huge, too. It's covered with thick dark blue bedding. The floors are all a sandy colored wood. There's a big light brown rug on the floor. To my right, there's a desk with a high-tech laptop on it, and a vanity with a large mirror. The flat screen TV on the wall in front of the bed was beautiful. My aunt and uncle are sort of…rich. My uncle used to be in the military.

I pack my clothes into the drawers of the vanity and yank out a black bathingsuit. I close the heavy wooden door and undress. I glance over at my body in the mirror. Still tan skin. Still wavy black hair. Still flat stomach. I change my belly ring, though. I change it to a series of silver, dangly stars.

I stuff my average sized boobs into my bathingsuit top, and step into the bottoms. I yank on another pair of shorts, slide on my flip flops, grab a towel, and head out the door to the beach. I grab the keys to my aunt's shiny black convertible.

It takes me under three minutes to get to the beach. I honestly could have walked. I park in the parking lot of the beach, grab my towel, and walk to a desolate spot in the sand.

I lay my towel out and sit on it. I just need some time to think. I watch everyone having a good time on the beach. Mothers yelling at their children to not go too far in the water. One mother spanks her child for dumping sand on her. I see a couple in the water. The blonde girl is on her blonde boyfriend's back.

I sigh and take in the sight. It's really noisy, but it's calming at the same time.

I lay back on my towel, close my eyes, and think. What's Trace doing right now? Is my family okay? What time did my mom say she'd call me? I should've eaten before I came here. I'm hungry, and that pizza sounds good.

I open my eyes to clear my thoughts. A small seagull is walking beside me. I blow on it, and it flies away. I laugh.

I'm a little bored, so I decide to get up and go in the water. I strip out of my shorts and walk toward the water. The foam tickles my toes. I wade waist deep into the warm water, and stand there as a wave breaks over me.

I feel a splash on my back and I whip my head around fast. These two couples that are playing chicken are the ones that splashed me. I smile briefly and turn back around. Another wave breaks over me, I feel my belly ring jolt loose.

I think about looking for it, but I just deem it useless. The ocean probably swallowed it already. I look down at my bare stomach now. I wipe my hand over where it used to be. I sigh. It's time to get out the water before I lose anything else. Like a limb or something.

I turn around and walk back to the shore. I hear someone walking behind me, and I'm scared. There probably isn't a reason to be afraid, but after everything I've been through with Trace, I have a right to be.

"Hey, wait up…" a man's voice calls from behind me. I stop dead in my tracks. I turn around very slowly.

"…Me?" I ask.

"Yeah, you. I think you lost something…" he says very friendly.

I get a good look at him. He's paler than me, with broad muscles and washboard abs. He has short black hair that spikes up in some ways. He has hairy arms and a slightly hairy chest. His eyes are a beautiful light brown color, but his eyebrows are maniacal.

"Lost something?" I repeat him.

"Yeah… this thing?" he holds out my silver belly ring.

"…Thank you." I say as I grab it from him. I quickly put it back in and screw the ball on tight.

"You're welcome." He says.

"Thank you…i… sorry. Thank you." I stutter.

"Joe." He introduces himself.

"Demi." I introduce myself too.

"See you around or something." He says.

"Probably not…" I mumble back.

He looks at me with a mixture of confusion and wonder, "You're not from around here?"

"No…" I answer.

"Well…that sucks." He turns and leaves, shaking his hands through his short, shaggy hair as he goes. I catch a glimpse of a silver ring on his ring finger. It's clearly a wedding band.

I watch him as he goes, curious if he's here alone or not. He comes up behind an olive-toned, brunette girl and kisses her cheek from behind. She has the same band on her finger as he.

I crack a small smile and walk back to shore. I'd probably never see him around.

I sat back on my beach towel and decided to work on a more natural tan.

I lay back and close my eyes.


	4. Festive

I spend about an hour and a half on the beach before I decide to go back to my aunt and uncle's.

I roll up my beach towel into a cylinder and head back to the little convertible.

As I'm driving home, I realize it takes me longer to get back than it did to get there. The traffic here is a bitch.

When I finally get home, I lock the convertible and come in the house. My aunt, uncle and Iz are in the living room watching The Big Bang Theory. I walk in and sit down on one of the four couches in their living room.

"Hey, Kid. You enjoy the beach?" my aunt asks.

"Yeah. It was a little crowded though. How come you guys didn't come down?" I curl up onto the couch and watch the TV with them.

"We said we'd come down a little later." My uncle says. It's 7:45. How much later could they wait? My uncle must have seen the confusion on my face, because he speaks up. "We're gonna go to the boardwalk. They do little light shows on the weekends at the amusement park."

"Oh…"

"Go grab a slice of pizza and some breadsticks, kid. You need to eat." My aunt says. I nod at her then get up and head to the kitchen. I grab a plate and a can of mountain dew. I slide two slices of pizza on my plate and a breadstick. I come back to the living room and sit next to Iz in his wheelchair.

"Hey Iz. What's up buddy?" I ask him. Iz can't talk, but his facial expressions speak for him most of the time. He can say small words like "mom, dad, ball, water or hungry." But he's almost totally speechless. Iz smiles at me wide and lets out a noise that is similar to a laugh. I rub his fuzzy hair and eat my pizza. It really touches me that my aunt and uncle adopted Israel. Especially a little black boy. It makes me happy that they don't care about the color of skin.

When I finish my food, my uncle takes my plate. "Thanks uncle Jason." I say to him.

"You gonna go take a shower and freshen up before we go down to the boardwalk?" my aunt asks. She positions herself behind Iz's wheelchair and wheels him to the special bathroom they had built downstairs.

"Um…yeah. I am… what's appropriate to wear?" I ask.

"Shorts. Maybe a jacket. It gets a little chilly at night especially beside the water. But never cold enough for jeans or anything." She explains as she runs bath water for Iz.

I turn and go upstairs to my room. Through a door in my room, I have my own bathroom. I go into the bathroom and start myself some shower water.

I go back into my room and undress myself. I put my clothes in a hamper and walk naked to the shower. I step into the hot water. The shower feels good against my back. I think about what happened two days ago, when Trace slammed my back into the wash machine in the laundry house. I take a deep breath and forget about it. I wash the remains of sand from my hair and all the saltwater off my skin. I get out of the shower and go back into my room.

I rummage through my drawers for something to wear. I end up picking out a black zip up hoodie that says "LOVE PINK" across the back of it in cheetah print letters. I pick up the pair of shorts I wore to the beach early and sniff them. They still smell clean. I roll on some deodorant, strap on my bra, step into my underwear and put lotion on my smooth legs. I pull on a cheetah print cami that I have and I yank on my shorts. I realize that they're a little baggy without my bathingsuit bottoms, so I weave a belt through the belt hoops. I put on the black hoodie and go into the bathroom to do something to my bird's nest I call hair.

Since I don't feel like doing much with my hair, I throw some Aussie spray in it and let it scrunch up. I don't want to get sand in my toes, so I pull on a pair of socks and my only pair of sneakers. I need a new pair of shoes, bad. The pair I have are raggedy, old, low-top, black converse.

I grab my cell phone, my wallet and a piece of gum off my dresser then head downstairs.

My aunt has Iz all bathed and ready to go.

"You ready?" my uncle asks me and I nod.

It takes a little long to get Iz situated in the car before we can drive to the boardwalk.

I stare out the window of my uncle's other truck. Both my aunt and uncle have two cars a piece. My aunt has her black convertible and a little blue Volkswagen beetle. My uncle has his raggedy red truck and a big black escalade. We took the escalade to the boardwalk.

When we get to the boardwalk, I'm in awe. It's so gorgeous at night. The lights of the festival are so pretty. There's a rollercoaster running, a ferris wheel, a tilt a whirl, a skydive, some other ride that takes you up in the air, a food place, and a bunch of game booths.

"Demi, we're gonna take Iz to the fishing pond. That's his favorite game. You can go ahead and look around. Just meet us back here at the entrance around 10:30. They close up here at 11." My aunt says.

"Okay aunt Kath." I say and I walk away. I don't have much money on me right now, but I really want an ice cream cone.

I find the nearest ice cream booth, and get myself a chocolate ice cream cone, dipped in cherry coating. I don't want to sit down and eat. I want to walk around and check out all the scenery. I walk around the boardwalk, licking my ice cream whenever it drips.

There are a lot of people here. I wish I had a friend here in Florida, but I don't know how long I'll be here. So it's best that I don't make friends.

The firework show starts, and I look up at the night sky. The fireworks are gorgeous. I lean on the railing of the board walk and watch the fireworks.

When my ice cream is officially gone, I throw it away and walk around more to see what other foods they have around here. Fried oreos, fried frog legs, fried alligator, fried twinkies, why is everything fried?

I'm not too much more hungry, so I go into a small gift shop. Maybe I can find a shirt or something to take back home to Maddie and Dallas.

I look around at the shirts they have. I pick out a tie-dye one for Dallas and a pink one for Maddie.

I go up to the cash register to pay. A lady rings up the shirts for me, and they come to $10.56. I reach into my wallet for a ten dollar bill and 56 cents. I always like to give the exact change, because I don't like carrying around a bunch of change. One of my nickels fall and roll away from me. "Shit…" I curse under my breath. I just take out an extra dollar and give the lady $11.00 whenever I can't find another nickel.

She hands me back a bunch of change, and I stick it in my wallet. I grab my bag of shirts head for the exit.

"You sure do lose a lot of things." A familiar manly voice comments from behind me.

I turn around and there he is again. He's clothed this time, though. And not as wet. He has on a grey, tight muscle shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. And he has my nickel in between his index finger and thumb.

"…Keep the change." I say to him.

"Looks like I'm five cents richer." He says with a laugh. I laugh too, just to be polite.

"I thought you said I wouldn't be seeing you around here anymore. I thought you weren't from here." He says as he hands me the nickel anyway.

I tuck the nickel in the pocket of my hoodie. "I'm not from around here…. But I'm staying here for a while…"

"Here on vacation?"

"Something like that… I'm sorry. What's your name again?" I change the subject.

"I'm Joe. I'm a little offended. I mean, I remember your name. Demi."

"I'm terrible with names, sorry."

A goofy, crooked smile spreads across his lips. "You're also terrible at keeping track of small things."

"I guess you could say that… are you here on vacation too?" I change the subject again.

"Not exactly. More like a honeymoon."

"You're married?"

"Two months yesterday."

"You've been on your honeymoon for two months?"

"What is this, twenty questions?" he comments with a smirk.

"..S…Sorry. I just…. Sorry."

"You stutter a lot."

"Sorry."

He holds the door open for me. "Ladies first?"

I walk through the door, and he follows me. I think he's going to leave, but instead, he walks beside me.

"It's not exactly a honeymoon. Me and my wife – Camilla get a beach house for the summer. It's sort of a tradition. This summer, we just called it our honeymoon. But we might stay here for good. We only live up in Pensacola. About an hour away."

"Oh…" I look down while I walk the boardwalk. I don't want to fall.

"So how about you? Who are you here with if you're not from here?" he asks me.

"I'm here with my aunt and uncle. Personal reasons."

"I get you…"

We walk in silence until we get to the place where I got my ice cream.

"So how old are you, Demi? is this your first time in the Keys?"

"I'm eighteen. And no. I've been here before. It's just been a very long time since."

We're both quiet again.

I clear my throat, "How old are you?"

"twenty-one years young."

"Wow…" I mumble with a chuckle.

"What?"

"Nothing it's just….. Aren't you a little young to be married?"

"Some may say. But I think when love finds you, it doesn't matter how old you are. And I love my wife dearly."

"Where is she?"

"Boy, you are an inquisitive little thing!"

"Sorry."

"But she's riding the tilt-a-whirl with her friends. I don't like things that go in circles."

I nod understandingly.

"Will she be angry that you're speaking with me?" I ask.

"No. She's not the jealous type at all. And we're just friends, me and you."

"You consider me your friend?"

"Sure. I mean, you're cool. And nice to talk to." He taps his fingers on the glass table.

"So what's Joe short for? Is it short for Joseph or short for something else? Like Jose?" I strike up more conversation with him.

"It's short for Joseph. I hate Joseph. So just call me Joe."

"I understand."

"You understand? Why? Demi short for something? Like….Demetra?"

"ia." I say.

"Huh?"

"DemetrIA."

"Why don't you like that? It's not that bad…"

"It's just a mouthful."

"I see."

I check my phone. No text messages or anything.

"So do you miss your boyfriend? While you're here?"

"My boyfriend? I don't have one…"

"You don't? I'm sorry."

I shrug, "It's okay."

"…I'm sorry to be nosy, but you mean you've never had one?"

"No, I just don't have one currently. I'm done with guys for a while."

"…So you're a lesbian."

"WHAT? NO."

He laughs hysterically and I can't help but laugh with him.

"You said you're done with guys!"

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN I LIKE GIRLS!"

We both laugh with each other. His laugh is musical and gruff at the same time. It makes me want to change my entire obnoxious laugh. When he stops laughing, he talks seriously.

"So I'm guessing you've been burned by guys in the past?" he prods.

"Something like that. I don't really like to talk about it…" I told him honestly.

"Understandable. I'm a stranger, and you don't wanna tell me about it. I understand."

"it's not just you… I mean, you're easy to talk to. I just don't like to talk about it at all."

"Bottling it up doesn't much help you."

I shrug and nod at the same time. I check my phone again. It's 10:28.

"I have to go, Joe. Um… nice talking to you." I say as I get up from the table.

"Oh, wait. If you want to talk about it… I mean, I'll listen. If you feel comfortable enough at any time…"

I nod and zip up my hoodie.

"My number…" he continues. "803-555-8765."

I pull out my phone again and save it in my notes.

"…I'll text you later tonight so you have my number. Th…thanks for being my friend here…"

"Thanks for keeping me company. I'll be expecting that text message."

I laugh an awkward laugh. Now would be the time I'd hug him if he wasn't married. But he IS married, so I just give him a firm handshake.

He walks off in the direction of the tilt-a-whirl, and I walk toward the entrance where I already see uncle Jason, aunt Kathy and Iz waiting for me.

"So you make any friends?" my aunt asks, pushing sleeping Iz in his wheelchair.

"Yeah…I made one. A guy friend." I admit.

We go back to the car, and I help her get Iz inside. I climb back into the truck and watch the lights turn out one by one on the boardwalk. I yawn big and hard. I'm tired.

We get back to the house, and I go directly up to my room. I take off my clothes and throw on a tshirt and shorts. I climb into my bed and check my phone again. A missed call from my mom. Instead of calling back, I just text her.

"Hey mom. I'm fine. Sorry I missed your call. I was at the boardwalk. I'm having a lot of fun here in Florida. No need to worry. I'll call you first thing in the morning when I wake up. I love u." I text.

I lean over and snap off my light. I plug my phone into the charger and settle in for sleep.

Oh! I almost forgot.

I reach over and grab my phone. I get his number out of my notes and text him.

"hey its demi." I text him.

Instead of waiting for him to text back, I decide to get it in the morning.

Maybe living in Florida for a little while isn't such a bad thing. I don't mind it, actually.

I lean over and settle into my pillow. My bed is incredibly comfy.

I fall straight asleep.


	5. Tell Me

I feel like I sleep for a total of two days. When I wake up, I feel more rested than I have in months.

I get up at around 11:30, hungry. I secure my pajama shorts and walk downstairs to see what's going on for today. My aunt, uncle and Iz are sitting again in the living room.

"Good morning, kid. You hungry? Iz wants to go to Bob Evans for brunch, but we had to wait for you to get up." My aunt greets me.

"um…sure. Bob Evans is cool…" I say.

"Go get some clothes on. We'll leave when you're ready."

I nod once and go back upstairs. I sit on the edge of the bed. The bed is so high that my feet dangle. I run my hands over my face to wake myself up. The light coming in from the window-wall is almost blinding. I take a deep breath and reach over. I unplug my phone from the charger. I have three text messages. I slide my finger across the lock and hit my message icon. I check the messages. Two from my mom. "Text me when you can baby. I miss you." Was message one. "Matter fact, call me later instead. We need to talk. Love you Demi." was message two. I click out of her messages and check the third. It's from the guy I met at the boardwalk. I open it. "Okay. I have your number now. Whats up?" he texted.

I reply to his message. "Sorry. I was sleeping last night. But nothing's up. What about you?"

I sit my phone on my dresser and proceed to get dressed. I yank on a pair of sweat pant capris and a halter top. I slide on my flip flops and let my hard, scrunchy hair fall down around my back. I go into my bathroom and wash my face with the Neutrogena that my aunt stocked up in my bathroom. I brush my teeth thoroughly, go back to my room, grab my phone off the dresser, and head back downstairs.

"you ready?" my uncle asks. My aunt and Iz must be the in the car already, because my uncle and I are the only ones still in the house.

"Yeah, I'm ready."

"It's a little hot out there. You sure you wanna wear sweatpants?"

"I don't have that many pairs of shorts…I had to grab what I could when I left…" I begin to explain.

"…Looks like we're gonna have to take a trip to the mall."

"I don't have much money…"

My uncle grabs the front door and holds it open for me. "I didn't ask about how much money you have, Demi. you live here with us now. You're like our kid now. We got you covered with money."

"Thanks uncle Jase." I say gratefully and climb into the escalade.

We drive down a long highway, past the beach, past the boardwalk. When the highway ends, there is a large plaza with a bunch of restaurants and stores. On the plaza, there is even a mall. It's a lot different from California. There are a bunch of places to eat outside. My uncle parks the truck in front of the Bob Evans and we climb out.

Some lady gives us a table near the back of the restaurant. The restaurant isn't very crowded on the inside. Most people are eating at the outside tables. I sit in the booth on one side by myself. Iz is sitting at the head of the table in his wheelchair. The lady introduces herself as Bonnie, and she hands us menus. I order a tall glass of orange juice with a side of iced tea as my drink.

While I'm waiting, I color with Iz for a little while. "Aunt Kath? How big is Key West? It seems like a pretty small town…"

"it is pretty small, Demi. everyone knows each other. Not very many people wanna live in a beach house year-round. So not very many people live here. It's mainly a tourist attraction. It gets busy in the summers." She answers me.

"Okay…Just wondering."

Bonnie brings us our drinks back. "You folks ready to order?"

I don't listen as my aunt and uncle order their food and Iz's. I'm trying to decide what I want to eat.

I decide that French toast, bacon and a side of scrambled eggs sounds good. I order for myself, and Bonnie leaves.

I sigh haughtily and check my phone. One new text message from Joe. I open it.

"You say sorry a whole lot. Lol. Whats up with you?"

"Nothing. Sitting at Bob Evans with my aunt uncle and cousin. You?"

He texts back really fast, and it surprises me.

Him: sitting at the beach house watching tv. What are you eating at the restaurant?

Me: French toast, eggs, bacon. The usual. Haha. Where's your wife? Do you need me to keep you company again?

Him: we had a little fight this morning so she went to the mall to blow off steam.

Me: oh. Sorry I asked.

Him: stop saying sorry.

Me: ok…

Him: so where are you gonna be today?

Me: I think Im just going to be around at the mall or something.

Him: lol.

Me: lol? Why lol?

Him: idk. Everything you say is kind of funny.

Me: oh. :b

Him: so can you answer me a question?

Me: no promises, but you can try.

Him: so I stayed up all night thinking about this. and I got one theory.

Me: theory? About what?

Him: did your last boyfriend cheat on you?

Me: why were you up all night thinking about me?

Him: just answer the question.

Me: you're married and you were thinking about me. You want your wife to beat me up.

Him: camilla's not like that. But answer me.

Me: …something like that. Not exactly.

Him: then what exactly?

Me: I gotta go.

Him: demi, don't.

Me: I don't like to talk about it joe.

Him: you don't have to…im sorry. Im just trying to..figure you out. I want to know you…as a friend.

Me: your wife is gonna have my head.

Him: I told you that Camilla isn't like that.

Me: im a girl and so is she joe. She is probably like that.

Him: I just wonder about you. That's all. Last night, I saw something in your expression when I mentioned your boyfriend. It worried me that's all. Im worried about you. Its not that I don't love my wife.

Me: I really have to go. Food is here.

Him: see you later or something.

I can really feel that joe is upset. I can sense that in some way. So to make him happier with the conversation, I add something.

Me: it was worse than cheating on me. But he did do that.

Him: worse?

Me: gotta go. Ttyl!

I put my phone down and start eating my food. My aunt is busy eating her own food and feeding Iz. I chew my scrambled eggs and think. Joe's wife would probably kill me if she knew that I was texting her husband. We weren't texting anything bad to each other. But he worried about me, which is a sign that he cares. He shouldn't care about me. He's married. On the other hand, I like texting Joe. He's a little nosy and pushy, but talking to him is easy. We've only been speaking to each other for a day or two, but I still enjoy talking to him. I really would like for him to know why I'm here. But to tell him would be to put him in danger. I don't want to risk anything happening. So I can't tell him.

I chew through my bacon and my French toast. I'm finished.

"Do you want us to come to the mall with you, Demi? or we can drop you off and come pick you back up a little later. Your call." My uncle asks.

I look over at Iz. He is almost sleeping. Iz gets tired very easily, because of his condition.

"Go ahead and take Iz home. I'll do fine by myself."

"You just need some money. How much you want hon?"

"…However much you give me is fine." I don't want to impose on how much money they give me. I'm grateful they're giving me any at all.

"Well…you'll need what? Some clothes, right? New shoes? Take my card and get whatever you need." My uncle says as he hands me a little red visa card.

"thanks uncle Jason…thanks so much."

"Just call us when you need us to come get you" my aunt says.

I nod and scoot out of the booth I ate in. The mall is right across the parking lot. I can walk.

I clutch my phone to me. I hit the power button once to see if I have anything missed. One missed call from Joe.

…he's calling me? That's…strange.

I'm too nervous to call back, so I just text him instead.

Me: you called?

He doesn't text back.

I cross the parking lot and walk into the wide, spacious mall. The mall is beautiful on the inside. Stores line the walls, and a huge fountain lies in the dead center. Escalators are all around the fountain, and vending machines are here and there.

I decide to make my way all the way around the mall since I don't know what stores are here. I walk past a nail salon first. Maybe I'll go get my nails done after I shop. Next to the nail shop is a bath and body works. I guess I'll start my shopping here.

I walk into the bath and body works. The walls are dark pink, and the shelves are wooden. It smells like heaven in here. I look around for some body lotion. I smell one lotion that's called "Midnight Splash." It smells like water and cotton. It's a nice clean smell, so I pick it up. I don't buy perfume in bath and body works. Just lotion. I pay for two bottles of the lotion, and I've already spent $6.72.

From bath and body works, I go into American Eagle. I browse around in here for a little bit. I pick up two pairs of blue jean shorts, one light, one dark. I fall in love with a pair of ripped blue jean capris, too. I don't ever buy shirts from American Eagle, but this purple and pink plaid shirt is cute, so I sling it over my arm too.

I pick out a good pair of white flip flops, a pair of black ones, and a pair of silver sparkly ones. I go to the register and pay. Another $56.87 spent. I walk towards the back of American Eagle, through a peach-colored high glass arch. I'm now in Aerie.

I could use a couple good bras. I walk over to the 36B section and pick out a white lace bra, a black bra with yellow polka dots, a lime green lace bra, and a plain black one. I also grab a couple pairs of underwear to match them. I walk over to the shirts and shorts section and splurge there too. I grab a cream-colored, see through, lace shirt and another light purple quarter shirt that has a palm tree on it.

I decide that I have enough pairs of jean shorts, and I grab three pairs of cloth shorts. I grab a pair of blue ones, black ones, and yellow ones. I check out. $62.37.

I pass a hair shop, a kids' shop, and a Guess. I go into Old Navy. I hate anything Old Navy, except for their pants. I hurry and grab a pair of ripped up, bleached skinny jeans. I pay for them and leave the store. $14.23.

I look for the nearest shoe store. The shoe stores are all in a cluster together. There's a Finish Line, DC Shoe Company, FootLocker, and Journeys. I decide to get a pair in each store, because I can.

I go into Finish Line. I grab a pair of pink Nike slip-ons. $15.06. I go to DC. I don't find anything I like, so I leave. I go to FootLocker. I pick up a pair of clean white Air Forces, that have the Nike symbol on the sides in sparkly glitter. $25.06. Lastly, I go to Journeys. I pick up a new pair of black converse, a pair of silver sparkly Sperrys, and a pair of black and grey striped Vans. $82.34.

All this shopping is making me thirsty. I take the escalators up to the second floor, and find the food court. I just want a smoothie from Orange Julius. I get into line and look at what I want. An Orange Banana smoothie sounds good. The asshole in front of me is taking forever to order, though. I just look around the food court. There is no restaurant that they don't have. I look at the tables, and I see him. I see them.

His wife is so pretty. She's tanned, with long dark brown hair. She has big red lips. Her makeup is done almost perfectly, and her eyebrows almost mirror his. Bushy, but not too out of control. Her clothes are also unworldly. She has on black jeans and a black and pink zebra striped shirt. She's gorgeous. He's sitting across from her eating ice cream.

I turn back around in line before he notices that I'm looking at them. I order my smoothie and wait for it. I sigh. I wonder if his wife knows that we're friends. I mean, I think we're friends. She probably wants to kill me.

I suck on my smoothie and walk back to the escalators. He sees me.

Just before I step onto the escalator, he calls me. "Hey, Demi. come here…" he says. He doesn't have to yell. We're that close to each other.

I grumble and walk over to the table. I plaster on a face smile.

"Hey… nice to see you again, Joe." I say as friendly as possible.

"Hey Demi. Camilla, this is Demi. The one I met yesterday at the boardwalk." He introduces us. I fake smile again.

"Nice to meet you." I tell her.

She smiles up at me, welcoming. "Of course. Joe's told me so much about you."

Really? Has he? He's told her about me, and she doesn't want to kill me?

"Joe didn't mention how cute you were, though. You're just the cutest thing."

I smile again, "Thank you."

"Hey, joe. Listen, why don't you show Demi around the mall? I'm gonna go finish up shopping with Jennifer. I'll call you before I leave." She turns and says to Joe.

"Yeah….sure babe."

They both get up from their table and dispose of their garbage.

"Love you babe." Camilla says to him.

"You too." Joe says back to her. he says it so bluntly that it almost has no meaning.

She walks away, and Joe stands beside me.

"…Why the hell…did you do that to me?" I ask him right of the bat.

"Do what? I told you Camilla doesn't care about that. She trusts me."

"That was just awkward… for me." I admit.

"I'm sorry…" he apologizes.

"How did you get her to be…okay with it?"

"Okay with what? Us being friends?"

We're walking towards another store.

"Yeah…us being friends."

"Um….i just told her that you were three years younger than me and that did it for her. I told her you're like…a little sister to me."

"Well I guess that works."

He laughs and walks with me into Forever 21.

"Why do you worry about me so much, Joe? "

"Because I care about you… you're like a little sister."

I roll my eyes at his answer.

"I answer all your questions. How come you never answer any of mine?" he asks me.

"Because your questions aren't questions that I can answer." I say bluntly. I search the racks for a nice bathing suit.

"Can you tell me why? Why can't you answer my questions?"

I grab a white bathing suit with purple flowers on it. "Because…"

"You're a stubborn little thing."

"I know…" I put the bathing suit on my arm and find a few shirts.

It's quiet. Nothing but the sound of me flicking through the racks.

"….Let's just say it's dangerous for you to know."

"Demi, you can tell me. I just want to listen."

"WHY DO YOU CARE SO MUCH?! YOU'RE MARRIED." I nearly scream at him.

"I'm usually a really good judge of character. And I can see that you're afraid… I just wanna know what you're afraid of."

"You're married."

"Let's say for arguments sake that I don't want to be married… there's nothing for you to be afraid of."

I pay for my bathing suits and shirts. $56.98.

I put my tongue in my cheek.

"Joe…I can't tell you. It's dangerous for you to know. And you're married."

"What does me being married have to do with anything, Demi?"

I shake my head. I can feel that tears are about to fall from my eyes.

"I don't even know you." I mumble.

"But you could…and I could know you too, if you just let me in."

"It's dangerous, Joe."

"Why?"

I clench my jaw. He's not going to let it go unless I just say it. I'm terrible at arguing. But he's a stranger. Stranger or not, I feel like I've known him for years… but that's beside the point.

"It's better if we're not friends, Joe. I don't know how long I'm going to be here. And I probably will never see you again when I leave."

"Demi, if I didn't care about you, I would have never sat and talked to you last night. If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't have texted you for two hours this morning. I wouldn't be asking if I didn't care… I care about you."

"Well don't! don't care! Because I don't care about you!... I can't care about you."

"Why can't you care about me? It's not illegal."

"Because you're married!... I can't care about someone who's already taken. That's why I'm here…"

He sits me down on a bench near the fountain and he sits beside me. He turns so his attention is on me.

"Demi…"

"Don't act like you know me, Joe. We just met."

"True. But are you telling me that if you just meet a friend in school, and they die two days later, you can't care about what happened to them? because that's not plausible, Demi."

"That's different…"

"It's no different than me caring about a dear friend that I've met days ago."

"…we just met yesterday, though."

"But I've been talking to you for about… 19 hours total. And I think you're a decent person. But you're afraid of something. I want to know what it is."

"Are you happy with your marriage?" I ask him straightforwardly.

"So you do want to know me."

"Just answer my question."

"You don't answer mine."

I sigh hard. "W…when I was sixteen…I met a boy. I met him at a party for his band. He was really nice. I mean, he…bought me things. Took me on expensive dates. Everything. We dated for a year, before he convinced me to move away from my family's house. He was heavy on drugs and tattoos, and my parents hated him. They used to try to convince me to dump him. He didn't like that. So when I moved with him, I was not allowed to call my parents. He…beat me. Raped me. Had more girlfriends than just me. Controlled me. Even tried to kill me, more than once. I lived with him like that for a year. Until three days ago, my mom and dad helped me get out the house that I lived in with him. And I went back home to my parents house. Where….he tried to burn me alive. So….i got shipped here to Key West. He…isn't gonna stop coming after me…so my dad has to either kill him, or get him behind bars before I can go back to California."

He looks at me sympathetically. "H…He beat you?"

I just nod. "Foolish, I know. But that's the story…"

"He tried to burn you?"

"He's gonna kill me if I go back. He's tried to burn me already. He….gave me so much alcohol one night that I was in the hospital for a week. Every time I tried to run away, he's tried to kill me. He's even shot at me."

He shakes his head. "Some people are just… if anyone ever….to Camilla…"

I nod. "I know…but now I'm afraid that he's gonna hurt my family…he's dangerous. And if he hurts my family, then he'll find me again."

"….I won't let that happen. I care about you, Demi. like my sister. I really care about what happens to you. I won't let that happen."

"This…is basically my safe house here."

"You're safe here… you are. He'll never know you're here."

I sigh hard again and put my tongue in my cheek.

"…So answer my question." I demand, changing the subject fast.

"What question?"

"Are you happy in your marriage?"

"….Do you think I'm happy?"

"…Yeah. But…not always."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because you're never with her…"

"I'm happy in my marriage. I love my wife dearly. We just fight a lot. And I do think that Im a little young to be wed."

"But I thought you said that once you find love, you know? And it doesn't matter how young or old you are?"

"Yes, that's true. But when you're young, what if you fall in love a second time?"

"That's when marriages fail…" I assumed.

"Because you're tempted into cheating." He adds.

"I see."

"I love Camilla dearly. But I wish sometimes that I would have waited. We rushed into the marriage, and I'm not sure if it's what I really want now."

"I understand."

"It's getting late, Demi. I have to go home… can I see you again later?"

"later? How much later?"

"…Meet me down at the boardwalk…around 9?"

"…You and Camilla?"

"Just Me. No Camilla."

"She'll kill me."

"She doesn't have to know."

"So now you're cheating on your wife?"

"It's not cheating. I'm just figuring out what I want." He says with a small chuckle.

"Nine o'clock then." I say back with a smile.

"See you there."


	6. Infatuation, Obsession

I finish all my shopping when Joe leaves with Camilla.

I spend a total of $1,134.76. I'm scared to go home and tell my uncle his balance.

At around 6:30, I call my uncle and have him come pick me up.

I get into the car with him, and we're quiet for the ride home until my uncle speaks up.

"How much did you spend Demi?"

"….Promise you won't be mad?"

He laughs, "How much did ya spend?"

"….1,100…" I say nervously.

"That's all?! You had me thinking you spent like… three thousand."

"You aren't mad?"

"No. I told you to buy clothes. Clothes aren't cheap."

I sigh in relief.

When we get back to the house, I go straight upstairs. I have a lot to do before I go meet Joe at the boardwalk. I put my clothes all away into the right drawers, and put the boxes of new shoes into the closet. I go back downstairs to my aunt and uncle.

"I'm leaving a little later. I'm going down to the boardwalk with a friend. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine Demi. just take a house key with you." My aunt says.

"Okay, I will. I'm gonna go take a shower…" I say before I disappear up the steps. I get in the shower quick and wash myself. By the time I get out of the shower, it's 8:00. I go into my room and throw my towel onto my bed. I'm naked and dripping wet, but I'm flying around my room like a mad woman trying to pick out some clothes. I grab a pair of the new underwear I bought and the bra that matches it. I yank them both on and pull on a pair of the blue cloth shorts I bought. I pull on a black tank top and a black jacket too. I stuff my feet into the pair of sparkly flip flops. I toss my still scrunchy hair up into a high ponytail and leave my bangs down.

It's 8:32.

I go into the bathroom and put on a little bit of makeup. I look decent. I hurry back downstairs to the living room where my aunt and uncle are.

"Which car are you taking, kid?" my aunt asks.

"I don't care which one I take." I say.

She tosses me the keys to her blue Volkswagen. I go out to the garage and pull the car out. I'm a little late getting to the boardwalk, but better late than never, I guess. I walk towards the entrance of the festival and check my phone. It's 9:10. I stand by the entrance and wait for him. He never said where to meet him at.

I check my phone again, impatiently.

"I'm ten minutes late and you're already so impatient?" he says in a playful tone from behind myself.

I laugh and turn around.

"You were late!" I say, laughing.

"I'm sorry." He walks beside me.

"Do you want to go ride a ride or something?" I ask him.

"Sure, little sister." He mocks me and I flick him off.

"That's no way for a little sister to act."

"Fuck off." I mumble. "I'm not that much younger than you."

"I guess you're not." He says as he hands the conductor of the ferris wheel four one dollar bills.

I climb into a blue cart of the ferris wheel and he comes in behind me. My feet dangle, but his touch the bottom of the cart.

"So how'd you sneak away, husband?" I ask him as we buckle our belts.

"I told her the truth. That I was going down to the boardwalk."

"And she was okay with it?!"

"I didn't tell her who I was with." He chuckles.

"Your laugh is so funny…" I say, blushing.

"Your laugh is incredible.."

"Are you flirting with me?" I ask bluntly.

"…A little." He admits with another goofy smile.

"That's no way for a married man to act."

"I'm just figuring out what I want."

The ferris wheel starts, and we go backwards.

"So, would she be angry if she knew you were with me?"

"Probably… she gave me crap about you when we came from the mall."

"I thought she didn't mind."

"She didn't mind when she thought you were ugly. But she saw you, and I guess she's a little scared."

"Scared of me? She's gorgeous. I look like a slug next to her."

"Don't sell yourself short, Demi."

I blush and play with my bangs.

"You don't really look like you've been…beaten. You look good…considering your past."

"…Thank you." I say to him. I play with my bangs a little more, then unzip my jacket. I pull the jacket down over my right shoulder and show him a nasty purple bruise.

"…Oh my god."

I nod.

"You know you don't deserve that, right?" he says to me very politely.

"You know, I've been telling myself that since I was sixteen. I don't know why it's taken me that long to finally get it through my head…"

We're making our third rotation on the wheel.

"You know, Joe…if you're…unhappy in your marriage…that's bad for you."

"I know. But the thing is…I'm not unhappy. I'm happy. I'm just…not sure if it's what I want, you know?"

The ferris wheel hums to a stop and we both get off.

"Would you divorce her?" I ask.

"…Probably not. I mean, I love her."

I nod, trying to be understanding.

"But she had to have been what you wanted at one time, right?" I prod further.

"Yeah. She was what I wanted once. But…things change. And I'm not so sure now. Things make me realize how much I had yet to experience."

"Things like what?"

"It's kind of like…you can be in relationship with someone for years. But as soon as you go to…a different club or something… you can find another person. And realize that you might have wasted years on the wrong person. Like there's more fish in the sea that you haven't experienced before you decided to reel in the one you've got. Understand?" he explains to me.

"…I think I understand. But what happens then? When you've already caught that fish? You can't throw it back in the ocean and try again. It's not that easy. And you can't have two fish at once…"

"Yeah, but what if you've caught one fish? Then you go to another part of the ocean, and another fish catches YOU?" he asks.

"Like a whale?" I ask, and he laughs.

"Yes, I suppose it's like a whale."

"….So who's the whale? Me or her?"

"Think of me as the fisher. She's the fish. You're the whale. I caught the fish. And I'm happy with my…meal. But a very…interesting whale catches me. What would that interesting whale do?"

"…The whale would just have to suck it up and spit the fisherman out because the fisherman already has what he wants."

"But what if the fisherman is happy with the whale, too?"

"Then the whale will just leave the fisherman alone anyway, because she doesn't need to ruin things in her busy whale life."

"You make it sound easy…"

I clear my throat, "So just tell me…If we continue to be…friends. Like you say we are, then would I ruin anything?"

"Of course I'm tempted, Demi. but…I have to be careful. I don't want to break my vows. I love Camilla."

"You don't have to keep saying it, okay? I get it. You love your wife."

"Why do you sound so jealous?"

"I'm not jealous. Just angry. Not angry at you. Angry at my luck…"

"Why don't you tell me what you think, Demi? what do you suppose I do?"

"I think you should leave here tonight and forget about me. You're married, and I don't want to take that away from you. I think you should leave and forget about me. It's not possible for you to love her and hang out with me…it's not possible for us to be friends, Joe."

"Why isn't it possible?"

"Because if we remain 'friends' I'm just gonna end up more attached to you than I already am. And I don't want to end up crushed whenever I want to kiss you, but I can't because you have a wife. Not a girlfriend, a WIFE."

"People cheat on their wives and husbands all the time, Demi…"

"Yeah, but I'M NOT A HOMEWRECKER."

"I wouldn't call it 'homewrecking.' I'd call it just helping me figure out what I want…"

"and what happens when you realize that I'm NOT what you want?"

"..never thought of it that way." He admits. He hands me a piece of cotton candy that he just bought.

"Well think of it that way and let me know what you come up with." I say sarcastically and pop the cotton candy in my mouth.

"I'm way in over my head here, Demi. with my wife and a girl that I just met almost two days ago." He says.

"I'm aware of that. Don't you think I know that we just met?"

"Yeah, but I think of it as you must mean a lot to me…and my heart if I just met you two days ago and I already care for you so much."

"Gee…" I lay the sarcasm on thick.

"I've never ruled out love at first sight…"

I roll my eyes, "So what you're implying is that you're going to cheat on your wife with me…the girl you've met less than 48 hours ago?"

"…it's not like Camilla's never cheated on me…"

I sigh and eat another piece of cotton candy.

"So you're caught in a love triangle?" I conclude.

"Not exactly. I wouldn't say that I love you like that. I love you to an extent. Like….if you died, I'd be heartbroken. If you left tomorrow, I'd probably have the urge to follow you. I care enough about you to want to...kill your ex boyfriend without mercy. But I don't want to walk down the aisle with you and father your children. It's more…infatuation, I guess you could say."

"You're infatuated with me?"

"….infatuated, yes. Borderline obsessed, yeah."

"Define obsessed…"

"After we left the mall today, I kept thinking about you. And I was literally trying to pass the time until I saw you again. I just want to talk to you…touch you….hear your voice."

I blush and chuckle, "Define infatuation…"

"I had a dream about you last night. And I dreamt about kissing you in my nap today."

"Do you dream about her that way?"

"Sometimes, yes."

"If it makes you feel any better, I thought about you a lot today, too. I was thinking about what'd you'd like to see me in…"

"You're beautiful in anything you wear… though the bathing suit was probably my favorite outfit."

"Hornball."

"I haven't dreamt about having sex with you. Don't make it seem that way. I'm a gentleman."

I laugh and roll my eyes.

Without hesitation, he sweeps down and pulls my soft, fragile body into his broad yet gentle arms. He rubs my back and inhales my hair. I breathe into his chest. He smells heavily of cologne and laundry detergent. I rub his back too. He squeezes me a little tighter, and it feels good.

"Joe…this is cheating."

"Cheating what? I didn't set any rules…"

"Cheating on your wife…"

"I don't call it cheating. You're helping me realize…"

"Helping you realize what, Joe?" I ask as if I don't already know.

He whispers to me through the curtain of hair over my ear.

"helping me realize that she's not exactly what I want…"

Those words send a tingle down my spine, and I close my eyes and rest on his chest. She's not exactly what he wants…


	7. Screw Morals, Right?

It's 10:15 when me and Joe decide to sit down and eat something.

"Two hot dogs please, and a large cherry coke." Joe orders for himself. I wait for him to move to the side so that I can order my own food, but he doesn't. The worker at the hot dog booth hands him two foot-long hot dogs and an enormous cup of coke. Joe sits down at the nearest table. I go order for myself.

"…You don't think I'm gonna eat two foot-longs by myself, do you?" he calls to me from the table.

"..Then why'd you order two?" I ask.

"One for you…"

"And one soda?"

"I like to share…"

I smile at him and sit beside him at the table. He puts one hot dog in front of me and hands me two packets of ketchup and two packets of mustard.

"You like coke, right? Cherry coke?" he asks me.

"Cherry coke is fine…" I say.

I smear both ketchup and mustard onto my hot dog and take a small bite. I chew four times then swallow. "So, Joe?...can I ask you a question?"

"When do you ever ask me if you can ask?" he retorts. I laugh.

"…If…if she's not…exactly what you want, then what do you want?"

"I don't know yet…"

I sip the soda down with my straw. He taps his fingers on the glass table and stares at me.

"Well, when you know what you want, let me know?"

"When I know what I want, you'll be the first to know."

I smile and nod, "Thanks…"

"You finished?" he asks.

I nod and he takes my plate to the trashcan.

"So I guess I have to let you go home now…" he says. The tone of his voice is very sullen, almost like he's saddened.

"Home might be good…"

"I'll miss you though."

"I'll miss you too…"

He walks beside me to the entrance and through the parking lot. I look over at a section of cars to the right, and there's a big group of guys to the right. They are slurring their words and laughing hysterically. I can tell that they're drunk.

"Get over here, Demi." Joe says to me through clenched teeth. He sounds angry, and he yanks me over to the side of his body where I'm not near the drunk men.

"Ouch, Joe…"I sort of whine. He hurts my arm when he grabs me like that. He recovers by wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me into his side. I feel a tear dribble down my chin and onto my shirt.

We get to my aunt's car, and Joe doesn't let me go until we get there.

"Are…are you crying?" he asks me.

I sniff and sweep away the stray tear, "No…"

"Demi, what happened? Are you alright?"

"….You…You just hurt my arm a little when you pulled me…"

"I hurt you? I'm so sorry… let… let me see. I'm so sorry, Demi. I didn't mean to… it's just… those guys… one of them whistled at you…and they're drunk…" he explains himself.

"Is your arm okay?" he asks.

"Yeah…it's fine. You just scared me a little… I didn't expect for you to be so…protective."

"Why wouldn't I be protective of you?"

"…I don't know."

"I…I'll see you tomorrow, Demi."

"You will?"

"Yeah. We'll…you want to go catch a movie tomorrow night?" he asks.

Lord knows, I want to say yes. I want to go to the movies with him tomorrow. I want to sit in a movie theater with him, watch a movie, eat popcorn, drink slushies with him, and do the cliché things that couples do in movie theaters. Hell, I'll even make out with him if it comes down to it. But I have to say no. He's a married man. And taking me on a date would make me his mistress. I can't go out with him.

"…No, Joe. No. we can't go to the movies…"

"…Why not?"

"Because you're MARRIED JOE. You don't realize… what if this ends badly? What happens if she finds out what we're doing? You're cheating, Joe. Call it what you want, but it's CHEATING."

Joe takes a deep breath and holds his head. He knows I'm right.

"But the thing is… I'm in too deep now, Demi. I can't just forget about you."

"Well you have to…you're married…"

"…Let's get one thing straight… _Demetria. _I never beg anyone for dates. Ever. I don't chase after girls… ever."

I suck my teeth and roll my eyes. "Whatever. Goodnight, Joe." I reach for the door handle to get into the car.

Joe grabs the car door and stops me.

"But I'm begging you now… Please go out with me tomorrow… I have to see you again, Demi…"

"You're begging?"

He nods. I can tell that he's embarrassed.

"Joe, this is wrong. It's so wrong… I can't say yes…"

Joe unzips his jacket and strips it off.

"What are you doing, Joe?" I ask, kind of annoyed.

"I'm following my heart. At this point, I don't know what else to do, Demi." he says. He sounds panicked and frustrated. Before he explains any further, he sweeps me into his arms again in another tight hug. I think all he's going to do is hug me, but I'm wrong. He braces me against the car and picks me up. I wrap my legs around his waist naturally, and he just holds me like that. He stuffs his jacket under my back so he doesn't hurt me.

I want to tell him to put me down. I want to tell him to just leave me alone. But I can't. Him holding me against the car like this feels good.

He has his arms locked firmly around my waist and his face is pressed into my neck. My legs are locked around his lower back, and my hands are resting on his upper back.

"What are you doing, Joe?" I ask him again.

"I told you, I'm following my heart. Screw my morals. You think I want to cheat on my wife, Demi? of course I don't. but I'm in too deep to let you go. So I'm giving my heart what my heart wants… and right now, it wants you." He mumbles into my neck. His hot breath on my neck calms me down.

I grip a handful of his thick black hair, then rub his head. "You have to put me down…"

"Not until I know that you'll go to the movies with me…"

"I'll go…I'll go…"

He still doesn't put me down. I can feel him breathing into my neck, and his hands are cupped around my hips. I realize that he's between my legs, but it's not awkward. It's not in a sexual way, and I don't feel scared.

"You smell good…" he mumbles. I feel him inhale into my neck.

"Put me down, Joe…"

He loosens his grip around my hips and lowers me to the ground. "I like holding you. It's fun…"

"…I don't like being in the air."

"Can I just hug you again before we leave?"

I shrug, and he pulls me into another embrace. He rubs my lower back and I lay on his chest. We both stay there, still and silent. I can hear the beat of his heart and it relaxes me. He is face down on top of my head, breathing in my hair. "How can you know what your heart wants after two days?" I whisper to him.

"It's easy when someone is as amazing as you…" he whispers back to me. I hear the sucking noise of his lips as he kisses the top of my head. "I'll text you tomorrow…let you know what time I'll come pick you up…"

I nod. He kisses my hair again and very slowly lets me go.

"Be safe, baby girl." He whispers to me as he lets go.

I want to kiss him so bad. I wish we were going home together. I wish that I was his wife, and that I could lie in bed with him, listening to his heart forever and ever. I wish that we didn't have to let go. But we do. And I'm not his wife.

I slide into the blue car and drive away home.

* * *

Tonight is the first night I dream about Joe.

I have never dreamt about a boy before. I've had nightmares about Trace, sure. But the dreams about Joe are pleasant.

In this particular dream, I'm on the beach with Joe.

He's sitting by me, throwing handfuls of sand at me, laughing when it sticks in my hair.

I launch sand back at him and we laugh hysterically.

Joe has to leave. Something about marriage duties.

I'm on the beach alone again.

I wake up, and the usual Florida sun is shining so bright my eyes hurt.

I sigh and climb out of the bed. I don't smell food cooking downstairs and I don't hear the TV. Nobody's home. I reach over and check my phone. It's 11:00 in the morning. I unlock my phone and stay in my bed. I go to my contacts and call my mom.

"Hi baby…" my mom answers on the first ring.

"Hey mom… what's up?"

"Nothing's up here baby. We miss you a whole lot… how's Florida?"

"Florida's great…"

"But you'd rather be home, huh?"

"Not exactly… I mean, getting away from California is a nice change. I like it here…"

"…Does a BOY have anything to do with that?"

"….Maybe."

"Tell me ALL about it!"

I laugh into the phone, "His name is Joe. He's really sweet, but…"

"But what, honey?"

"…So what's going on with the Trace situation?" I change the subject so fast I give myself whiplash.

"Trace?... Daddy filed the complaints to the police. There's a warrant out for his arrest, but the police can't find him yet…so that's what's going on there."

"How long you think it's gonna be?"

"It's hard to say, Demi… you in a rush to come home?"

I hear a beep on my phone.

"Not at all…. Listen, mom. I gotta go…. I'm hungry and stuff… have Maddie and Dallas call me later, okay?"

"Okay baby. Miss you and love you."

"You too, mom."

I hang up the call with my mom and check to see who's beeping in. It's Joe. I hit the answer button.

"Hey…" I say.

"Good morning… you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine... are you?"

"I'm fine…"

"You alone?" I ask him.

"Yeah. She's not home… we fought this morning."

"Why?"

"Because she wanted to go back to the mall all day. But I told her no. I don't wanna go."

"You should've just went. Did she go anyway?"

"Yeah. She went back to Pensacola for a little while with her friends. So I'm here alone for a while."

"Why didn't you go?"

"Because I have a date with you, remember?"

"JOE! YOU CAN'T CHOOSE ME OVER HER!"

"I wish you would stop shrieking about that. I told you, I'm screwing my morals now. I'm giving my heart what my heart wants."

"…I can't believe you."

He laughs into the phone, "So I wanted to show you around Key West today. Maybe go grab something to eat before we head to the movies… show you around the beach house…"

"Why would you show me around the beach house? I don't need to know my way around the beach house, Joe. That's your house…"

"Camilla leaves a lot. Sometimes, you might like to just sit around in the house with me."

"You're a mess… you better not take me back to the house. What if she comes back?"

"She's gone for the day, Demi."

I sigh, "So what exactly do you mean by screwing your morals?"

"…Why don't you just come let me in the house?"

"…What house?"

"YOUR house. I'm outside and have been for about fifteen minutes now."

"Oh my god! Stalker!"

He laughs and I hang up.

I run downstairs still in my pajamas and unlock the door. He comes in. He's dressed in a light blue shirt and blue jean shorts. He's perfect, compared to me. I'm dressed in a plain white tshirt and blue flannel pajama pants. My hair is tied up in a messy bun, and I have my glasses on.

"Good morning, again." He greets me.

"…You could've at least given me time to get dressed, Joe."

"You look fine."

"How'd you even know…where i…"

"…I followed you home last night…I was worried about you."

"Of course." I mumble.

"I didn't know you wear glasses…"

"I'm blind without them… I wear contacts, mostly." I explain.

Suddenly, he picks me up again.

"WOAH! JOE….DOWN."

"I don't wanna put you down…"

"It's been three days and you've already got me off my feet…"

"Who cares how long it's been, Demi?"

"…Me?"

"I'd yell at you if you weren't so pretty."

I smile at him.

"Answer me a question?" he asks me.

I nod.

"If your aunt and uncle would have been here this morning, would you have introduced me?"

"Of course…"

"…So can I see your room?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's not…clean. I mean, there's stuff all over the place."

I just started my period late last night after I got home from the boardwalk, and my box of tampons are sitting upstairs on my dresser. They aren't even in the bathroom.

"I don't care, Demi. I just wanna see your room."

"Give me a chance to tidy up…"

"Something to hide?"

"No… I just…"

To be even more honest, I need a minute alone in the bathroom. Sorry to be gross, but I think I'm leaking through, if you know what I mean.

"Can you please put me down, Joe?"

"Nope… take me up to your room and I'll put you down…"

"…I have to use the bathroom."

"You gotta poop?" he asks me, and I die laughing.

"No..i don't have to poop."

"So you gotta pee? Well you can hold it until you agree to let me see your room."

"I don't have to pee…" I tell him. I'm being honest.

"You have to do both then?"

"NO! i…just need to use the bathroom…"

"Your breath doesn't stink…"

"I don't need to brush my teeth either."

"You're not wearing makeup…"

"Washing my face isn't the issue."

"Then you're fine in my arms until you agree to let me see your room."

I roll my eyes into the back of my head. I can feel that my tiny little regular tampon is too full. I'm sorry to be gross, but it really is the god honest truth.

"Joe…Let me down…"

He finally sees in my eyes that I'm serious.

"What's wrong, Demi? did I hurt you?" he sounds worried now. He sets me down slowly on the ground and feels my forehead.

I bolt for the downstairs bathroom when he lets me down. I slam the door shut fast and get on the toilet. Joe stands outside of the door. "Demi? what's wrong, babygirl? Let me in… I'm sorry…"

"It's not your fault…" I tell him. My underwear are still clean, and I'm thankful. I maneuver myself from the toilet to reach under the sink. I really hope that my aunt has tampons under the sink down here. She has a box of super plus, and I feel myself go pale. I accidentally groan.

"Demi?! let me in…" Joe's desperate.

"No…just stay there." I grab a super plus one and pop it open. It's huge and I feel sick just thinking about it.

"Is there anything I can do for you?" he asks from outside the door.

I hesitate hard. Well, if he has a wife, he surely knows about these things, right? And if he really wants to help, he'd go get me a regular, right?

"…Can you do me…a huge favor?" I ask him.

"Of course…"

"Go upstairs…. To my room…. And…. Look on my dresser…. There's a… box on my dresser. A blue box…. Can you bring…one of the contents of that box down here and slide It under the door?" I ask. I'm visually measuring the crease in the bottom of the door. A tampon will fit through there…

"…What's in the box? So I know what I'm looking for?" he asks.

I groan again.

"…Tampons…" I mutter.

He starts howling with laughter. "Oh my god, Demi. Is that it?! You just came on your period?! Why didn't you just say so?!" he is hooting.

"…Because you're a boy."

"I have a mom, Demi. and a wife… I know all about these things… but we usually keep… woman things in all bathrooms, that's all."

"There are some in here…"

"Then why can't you just use those?"

"….They're too big." I can't believe that I'm talking to Joe about my period and the sizes of my tampons.

He laughs again.

"Joe…"

"What?"

"The tampon?"

"OH! I'm sorry…. Be right back."

This conversation was very awkward. I know that. But it really means something to me that I was able to feel so comfortable talking about it with him. In my eyes, guys are keepers if you can talk to them about pregnancy, breastmilk, achy boobs, cramps, tampons, pads and periods. If they understand that, they understand everything.

This is probably the grossest conversation Joe and I have ever had in our entire three days, but it means the most to me. I mean, he's not freaked out by my period. That means something, right?

Joe shoves the tiny purple tampon under the door for me.

"Thank you…" I say.


	8. Fuck Love

"Just excuse the mess. Camilla isn't much of a cleaner." Joe says to me. He opens the door to his beach house and we step inside. It's a really nice house. It's big and looks similar to my aunt and uncle's house, just not as well furnished.

"It's fine…" I say, looking around. I'm a little nervous to be here. Anything could happen, and Camilla could walk through the door right now.

"Can I see YOUR room?" I ask him with a laugh.

"Sure. We never sleep in it, though. We sleep in the living room, on the couches. I don't know why….we just don't."

I nod and he takes my hand. He leads me downstairs, through a long hallway, back to a bedroom. His bedroom is downstairs?

It's a very nice bedroom, too. The bed is enormous. Big enough to fit three grown men comfortably. There's a TV on the wall, a dresser to the right, and a small bathroom to the left.

"…Why's the bed so big?" I question.

"I don't know… we don't even sleep in it."

I sit down on the bed look around. The room is dark red. The bedding is black, and the carpets are red too. The carpets are very soft.

"Our movie doesn't start until 6:30… what do you want to do in the meantime?" he asks me.

I look at the time on my phone. It's only 1:32 in the afternoon.

"I dunno…" I say.

"You wanna go to the beach?"

"No!" I say frantically.

"…Why not?"

"Swimming…. Periods…."

"Oh. Okay, I get it… well we can just lounge around here if you want."

I nod, "That's good. But what if she…"

"If she comes home, she can't get into the house without me opening the door for her. she didn't take the house key with her. don't worry, Demi. you're fine."

I nod slowly, "Okay…"

I yawn really big.

"Are you tired?" he asks.

"A little, yeah…" I admit.

"…Let's take a nap then. Before we go to the movies." He suggests.

I nod. I really am tired, and I don't know why. I slept good last night. Maybe it's just my monthly that's making me tired.

Joe starts taking off his pants, so that he's in his boxers. He leaves his shirt on and climbs in bed. I'm still sitting here. "Are you alright, Demi? what's the matter?"

"Nothing…I just… can't sleep in jeans…"

"Then take them off… I'll grab you a pair of Camilla's shorts to sleep in."

I shake my head slowly. I actually feel very sick. I've got cramps in my lower back, my stomach feels… queasy, and I have a throbbing headache.

"Do you want a pair of my shorts?" he asks.

I nod very slowly. My head is throbbing like never before.

He gets up and grabs a pair of his shorts.

I start to cry softly. My lower back feels like someone is stabbing me in it, my head feels like I'm banging it off something, and my stomach feels like I swallowed a gallon of water with a bunch of tadpoles swimming in it. I feel sick.

Joe brings the shorts back over to me.

"…Demi? Demi… are you alright? What's the matter?" he sits by me and cradles my face in his hands. "Tell me what's the matter? What can I do?"

I sniff and start bawling hard. I don't know why I'm crying so hard, I just am.

He pulls me into his chest, "What's the matter, Demi? do you want to go home? Are you nervous?"

"…No…I don't feel good…" I tell him.

He wipes my tears away.

"I've got you…" he whispers to me. He lays me back against a bunch of pillows and unbuckles my jeans. I do find this a little weird, but I don't say anything. He pulls my jeans off and throws them on the floor.

"Joe…" I whine. I cover up my privates. I'm a very…modest person. I don't know if I'm comfortable with him seeing me. Especially now. I'm not exactly…clean down there at the moment, and I don't have on pretty underwear. I have on old granny panties, so I don't ruin my good underwear. I clamp my hands over myself.

"Demi, it's alright…it's alright. I'm not looking at you like that…" he assures me. He puts his shorts on me and pulls them up to my waist. He lifts me up again and starts pulling my tight shirt off me.

"STOP IT! STOP IT!" I scream at him while I hold my shirt on my body. I don't mean to yell at Joe. It's just… he could have asked me to take my shirt off. I would've probably said no, but it scares me to have him force it off me. Trace used to force my clothes off, and it freaks me out a bit. I cry a little harder.

"Hey…hey… calm down… I won't hurt you. I won't hurt you…" he whispers to me. He stops trying to take my shirt off and just holds me. "I won't hurt you, Demi…it's okay." He kisses my cheek.

I release the tension in my body and let myself rest on him. He grabs the reams of my shirt and pulls it up over my head. I let him go this time.

"Oh god…" he says, disgust clear in his voice. He must have seen my back. I know it's a horrible mess because of what Trace used to do to me. He leaves me alone and I sit in the bed in my bra, tears still streaming down my cheeks.

He comes back a moment later with a clean white t shirt. "It's alright…" he whispers. He unclasps my bra in the back. I almost freak out again, but he holds a pillow against my chest before my bare breasts could be seen. He carefully takes my bra off, keeping the pillow against my chest. He puts the new shirt on me, and I'm a lot more comfortable.

He lays me back down on the pillows and pulls covers over me. He rubs the hair on my arms lovingly and lays behind me. "Just relax…relax baby…"

Nobody's ever called me baby before. I was always "princess", "bitch", "fucking whore", or just plain "Demi" to Trace.

He strokes my messy hair and kisses my cold, teary cheek. "Shh…" he whispers. "I love you…"

Did he really tell me he loves me? He can't say that to me… can he?

"I love you…" he whispers to me again, stroking my hair.

I hate my luck right now. This would all be so perfect if he wasn't married. I wouldn't feel so crummy if he wasn't married. But he has a wife, and I feel horrible.

"…You said you love me, Joe…" I comment to him as if he doesn't know what he said.

"Go to sleep…" he whispers in his soft voice.

I sniff hard and hold back another round of tears. I prop myself up carefully on my elbow. I feel crappy for what I'm about to do, but I already feel horrible, so what's another thing to add to it? I tilt my head to the left and ease in. I close my eyes, and touch my lips to his. His lips are so soft that they melt against mine. They're cool and smooth too. I just want to know what it's like to kiss someone easily…

He opens his mouth up, and I open mine too. I feel him push his tongue into my mouth , and I take him lightly. His tongue explores my mouth and finds my tongue. When our tongues meet, his tongue massages mine tenderly. This feels good. To kiss someone this softly feels amazing. When I pull away, his teeth scrape very gently across my tongue. Before my mouth gets too far from his, he pecks my lips again. I almost start to cry, because I think that's what a kiss is supposed to be like.

He uses his thumb and wipes off my bottom lip. "Go to sleep…" he says again.

I lay my head on his chest and close my eyes. I don't fall asleep right away. He massages my lower back with the palm of his hand. "I won't hurt you… I won't hurt you…." He keeps whispering to me. I finally fall asleep in his arms.

* * *

I'm woken up by the sound of the annoying cell phone alarm.

My head doesn't hurt anymore, I don't have cramps anymore, my stomach is settled, and I'm really hungry.

The annoying alarm keeps blaring.

I lift my head up. I feel like I've been sleeping for days. I look around, and feel that I'm still wrapped up in Joe's arms.

The alarm is still going off.

I put my hand on his chest and shake him a little bit. "Joe…"

He groggily pulls me closer to his body, as if he's protecting me. "What's wrong?" he asks in his sleepy monotone.

"I think it's time for us to wake up…" I tell him.

He slowly and reluctantly pulls his arm from around me and gets his alarm to shut off.

I sit up in the bed and so does he.

"You feel better?" he asks.

"A lot…" I nod.

"Good… let's get dressed… and go see our movie." He yawns.

I smile at him.

"….Joe? You… You took my bra off…and my…you saw me in my underwear… but you…didn't even…"

"I don't think of you that way, Demi." he stops me mid-sentence. He's pulling on his pair of shorts.

"You… don't?"

"Not exactly. I mean… I've…thought about you like that. And if I would… gladly… sleep with you when it's the right time. But…. You were crying and in pain. I wasn't thinking like that at the time. I care more about how you feel than about what you look like naked…" he's fully dressed now.

"I need to use the bathroom…" I say.

"Through those doors, babe." He says.

I take my purse into the bathroom with me. I do my business and go back out.

I dress myself.

"Joe? You also said…some things. Did you mean that…?" I ask him nervously. I'm too nervous to repeat what he said, but he knows what I'm talking about.

"…Yeah. I meant that."

"You can't say that to me though. I know you don't mean it.."

"Of course I meant that, Demi. I wouldn't just say that to you if I didn't mean it."

I slide on my flip flops and comb through my hair.

"But Joe. One day, you're gonna have to choose. And we both know that it won't be me…"

"Demetriaaaaaaaaa." He drags out my name.

He comes over to me and picks me up again.

"Down, Joe." I demand.

"Nope. I need you to listen to me right now. I LOVE you. I don't love you… like I loved my wife… but I do love you. Too much for my own good right now. And I need you to believe me when I say that to you. Right now, if someone made me choose between you and my wife, of course, I'd choose my wife. But I want time… because… if I have time, Demi… I will choose you…"

I roll my eyes. "This is bad, Joe. You don't love me…"

He puts me against the wall and holds me there. "I looooooove you Demetria."

I shake my head and almost start to cry.

He pushes his lips softly onto mine again and kisses me, exactly as softly as he did the first time.

"Please believe me when I say this…"

"Joe… you said like you lovED your wife… you don't love her anymore?"

"Not like I used to… I get tired of fighting with her."

"Joe?"

"Demi?"

"….Can we just stay here? Order some food?"

"You don't want to go to the movies?"

"…Not really. I like it better when we're alone…"

"You got it babe…" he puts me down softly on the wall and kisses my cheek.

"I have a lot more questions for you." I say.

"I have answers…" he says back.

"…Firstly… what would you call us? We're not boyfriend and girlfriend…"

"We're friends, Demi. if we… if I wasn't…. I mean…."

I roll my eyes.

"Joe… will I ever come first?"

"I don't know, Demi…"

I sigh. This is what I hate. I will never come first as long as he is married.

His phone starts to ring.

"It's her, isn't it?" I ask.

He nods and answers his phone.

"Hello? Yeah babe… I'm home…"

As soon as he says "babe" to her, I lose it. Screw this shit. I'm going home. I have no right to feel jealous. I'm nothing to him. Not his girlfriend, not his wife. Those kisses mean nothing to him. HE MADE ME JEALOUS. He leads me on. I fucking… I'm stupid.

Joe grabs my arm just as I try to leave the room.

"Yeah… Yeah I'm alone…" he says.

I throw my hands up and shake my head.

"Really? That's great, babe… that's really great. I'll be there… I promise. Yes, I'm excited…okay. Sounds good… love you too… bye." He hangs up.

"...You're leaving?" I ask.

"I just have to go to Pensacola tomorrow morning to be with her. no big deal…"

"Be with her for what? What are you excited about?" I'm asking questions with an attitude.

"….Demi… don't be mad…"

I grit my teeth and cross my arms. I'm not mad. I'm fuming.

"She thinks… she thinks she's pregnant."

I LOSE it.

"PREGNANT?! I'M…I'M GONE, JOE. I'M GONE. SAY….SAY NOT ANOTHER DAMN WORD. I'M FUCKING GONE."

"Demi, please wait…"

"WAIT FOR WHAT?! WAIT FOR HER TO POP OUT YOUR KID?! YOU'RE MARRIED. DON'T WORRY, JOE. I DON'T BLAME YOU. I BLAME ME. I BLAME MYSELF FOR FUCKING AROUND WITH A MARRIED MAN. Fucking…BYE."

"Demi!"

"…But you love me, right?! You love me…"

"I do love you Demi… it's just…"

"Save it, Joe. Save the shit. I'm not playing step mom or anything. I just don't even care anymore. Thank you, though. Thanks for leading me on. Wait, better yet… thanks for NOTHING. I'll be sure to send a bottle and a bib to the fucking baby shower." I storm out of the house and walk up the highway back home.

Guess what? I cry on the way home.


	9. I Realized

**Day One:**

I have 15 text messages from Joe, and 6 missed calls. I don't answer him at all. I need to try to shake him off. He's a married man, and I can't have him.

I go to the mall and stock up on pairs of socks and more underwear. I don't see him out at all.

For dinner tonight, my uncle makes steaks off the grill.

I eat my dinner, play a game with Iz, and go straight to bed.

I call my mom before I go to bed.

We chat about how life is back at home, what daddy's done to get Trace behind bars, how the police system in California is fucked up because they can't find him, and how much we miss each other.

Before I go to sleep, I open the messages from Joe. My iMessage is on, so he'll know that I read his messages.

Him: Demi please call me…

Him: I'm sorry okay?

Him: I miss you.

Him: I didn't lie to you Demi.

Him: if you wanna talk about it call me please

Him: can you at least let me explain?

Him: I'm sorry.

Him: Demi? are you okay? Call me ASAP

Him: are you ignoring me?

Him: Demi please?

Him: meet me at the boardwalk at nine?

Him: can I come over?

Him: can you come over?

Him: let me apologize to you…

Him: I love you…

Day one is easy. I don't miss him at all today. I fall fast asleep and don't have dreams tonight.

**Day Two:**

I go to the nail salon today.

I get a French manicure with plain white tips on my fingernails.

I even get myself a pedicure.

I get black tips on my toes.

It feels good to pamper myself.

7 missed calls and 10 text messages today.

For dinner, my aunt orders Chinese.

I watch a couple movies with Iz, play two games of Uno with my uncle and aunt.

I gorge myself with the food and have fun with the games, and head to bed early. I want to go into the city tomorrow morning.

Before bed, I call Dallas.

We talk about how much mom is pissing her off, how much Florida life isn't different from California life, more souvenirs, and taking a vacation back to Florida one day.

After me and Dallas hang up with each other, I check the messages from him.

Him: I love you.

Him: I miss you.

Him: please talk to me Demi.

Him: I miss you so much.

Him: I'm going crazy without you.

Him: I miss seeing your face…

Him: the last time I slept was when we slept together…

Him: please just let me know you're okay.

Him: meet me at the boardwalk tonight?

Him: I love you!

Day two is harder than day one, but still easy. I want to talk to him, but not that badly. I close my eyes and sleep good yet again tonight.

**Day Three:**

I get up early to go into town and find a hair salon.

When I finally find one, I tell the lady to re-layer my hair, re-dye it black, and cut off my bad ends.

It takes a good three hours off my day.

Instead of making my aunt or uncle cook tonight, I go out to a Mexican restaurant by myself.

That shaves another two hours off my day.

I find myself counting down the hours of the day until it's bedtime.

My hair looks nice, my nails are nice, my toes are nice, and my tan is up to par.

I'm getting a hang of this Florida thing.

No missed calls today, but 5 text messages.

When I go home, I don't say anything to anyone.

I take a long shower and get in bed.

I don't call my family tonight.

But I do check the text messages.

Him: so are we really done?

Him: I have something to tell you.

Him: Demi it's important.

Him: Demi I realized something about you…

Him: I still love you.

I shut off my phone and sigh.

Day three is hard. Harder than days one and two. Day three is painful, almost.

I shut my eyes and fight to finally fall asleep.

**Day Four:**

I don't do anything today.

I lounge around the house in my pajamas all day.

I don't want to do anything. I want to talk to Joe.

It's early in the morning.

No missed calls and no text messages.

I take three naps during the course of the day, which is probably a bad idea.

I color a couple pictures with Iz before I get bored.

I end up in bed at 7:30.

I lay there watching Law and Order until 10:30, when everyone else in the house is asleep.

Still no missed calls, but 3 text messages.

I cheat myself by checking the text messages early.

Him: I love you…

Him: I love you again…

Him: I still love you.

I grab a dormant pillow and scream into it.

I miss him more than I'll admit to myself.

Day four is hard. The hardest.

In fact, day four is when I give in.

Me: Meet me at the boardwalk in ten minutes. Don't be late or I swear to god I'll leave.

I feel like a drug addict, and replying to him was my latest fix.

I get up out of my bed and yank on a pair of yoga pants and a plain black cami. I slip into flip flops, shut my bedroom door, grab the keys to the convertible, and head down to the boardwalk.

I left my phone at home, so I don't know if he texted back or not. I really don't even care.

I get to the boardwalk in record time.

The boardwalk is all closed down. No lights flash, no rides are on, and everything is dark. I sit by the entrance and wait for him.

I look out into the ocean. The moonlight is very sparkly on the ocean water. The waves are noisy as they break over ocean rocks. The scene is actually very pretty. But I scare myself shitless by noticing a big whale's tail flopping out of the water way out into the deep parts of the ocean. I shudder at that.

I hear footsteps behind me and I turn around fast. I see him.

He looks… like a mess, to say the least. I can tell that he's been crying, and his eyes are puffy. I just look at him. We stand there, steps apart, staring at each other. I want so badly to be angry with him, but instead, I run to him and jump into his arms like I'm supposed to. He catches me routinely.

We don't say anything to each other. He holds me tight around my lower back and I have my arms wrapped around his neck. Neither one of us cry, we just take in the moment.

"….What did you realize?" I whisper to him finally.

"….huh?" his voice still has tears in it.

"You told me you realized something about me… what is it?"

"….I realized that I would pick you…"

I let go of my grip around his neck and look into his sparkling eyes.

"…You would?"

He nods fast, as if he's afraid I don't believe him.

I press my lips to his, and he kisses me softly.

When we pull away, we remain nose-to-nose for a few more moments.

"…What made you realize that?"

"…the fact that the last four days of my life have been hell… the fact that I don't even care if Camilla doesn't call me, as long as you do…"

"But she's pregnant…" I whisper.

"No she isn't… the doctor checked and it was a false alarm…"

I pull him in to another soft, passionate kiss.

"…..Ask me again, Demi." he says.

"Ask you what?"

"Just ask me again…"

"…Would you choose me over her?"

He cradles my face in his hands and looks deep into my eyes, "Yes."

"…This is so crazy… I just met you… a week and a half ago…"

"And yet… I feel like you were supposed to be for me… I feel like this is it…" he says to me.

"This is crazy…"

"but it makes sense to me…"

He kisses me again and I rub his back.

"…Do we still have to sneak around?" I ask.

"…Yes. But… I can't just leave her… I mean… I told her. I told her that…I fell out of love with her… she… she didn't take it well. But we…I mean… can you just wait until I officially break it off with her?"

I nod.

"What made you say that to her?"

"We just fought… so much. Because I wouldn't do anything with her. but I don't want to do anything unless it's with you…"

I tuck my hair behind my ear and smile.

"Can you put me down now?" I ask him.

He laughs at me and kisses my cheek. He sets me down easily.

"…Are you disappointed that she isn't?... pregnant, I mean." I ask.

"….No. I mean, I want kids someday. But not right now… I'm not disappointed…"

I hold his hand.

"I love you…" he whispers to me.

"I love you too…"

He pulls me in to his chest and holds me there again.

"How are you so sure that you love me?" I whisper.

"…Because. I decided that if you didn't answer me by one week, I was gonna come over to your house and get you. And if you didn't take me back even then… I was… seriously going to drag you out with me… and only someone I love could have that kind of effect on me…"

I crack a smile and kiss him again.

"…You wanna go in the water?" he asks me.

"I don't have a bathing suit…"

"Neither do i… but I have underwear. and so do you…"

"….I'll race you." I challenge him.

"You're on.." he says.

We both climb down off the boardwalk and take the short drop onto the beach. I run fast to the shores of the beach, taking my shirt off as I run. He's a little bit in front of me, and his clothes are in a pile behind him. I come out of my shoes as I run faster. The sand feels good between my toes. He stops to wait for me just before the water starts. He won. I strip out of my sweatpants and walk towards him in just my bra and underwear. it's not until I almost step into the water that I remember the whale that I saw. I freeze.

"…Come on babe… it's okay…" he says.

I close my eyes, nod, and walk into the water.

He picks me up and slings me on my back.

"Joe?"

"Yeah babe?"

"…What you said four days ago… about… not thinking of me… how about now?"

"What do you mean?"

"When we were sleeping. You said you don't think of me… that way. What about now?"

"…Are you off your woman thing?"

I nod, "Otherwise I wouldn't be in the water right now."

"….Then yes."

"When's the last time you have?"

"Have what, Demi?"

"Have thought of me that way?"

"…About 10.5 seconds ago."

I laugh and kiss his cheek.

"Can you tell me how you think of that?" I ask him still laughing.

"Will you tell me how you think of me if I do?" he asks back.

"…Sure."

"Okay… well… I don't know. I mean, I usually think of instances. Like… I think of how… how it's the perfect time, because we're alone on the beach. But how I don't want it to be outside."

"Where at then?"

"In a bed?"

"Typical…"

"Well I've also thought of a bathtub, if that helps. And even a shower…"

"..A shower? Wouldn't that be uncomfortable?"

"Not if you do it right…"

"…So you've pictured me naked?"

"Isnt that a given? I did that the day we slept together. But… I didn't think of it long. It was just weird then. But after you went home and you were mad, I thought about how you being mad kind of turned me on. And I pictured it then."

"And how'd you picture it?"

"….Seriously?"

"Mhm."

"Well… I pictured it… I've seen your stomach. And your back. And your legs. So I pieced together that. I pictured your boobs as big as they look in a swimsuit, though I'm way off, because I've seen them in a bra now…"

"Off in a bad way?"

"I pictured them smaller than what they are… and… I don't know… I'm guessing you're shaved down there. Because you never have a hairy bikini line. That's how I pictured it."

I laugh again.

"So what about you? What'd you picture about me?" he asks.

"…Nothing, really. I mean… i… I daydreamt about sex once, but it wasn't long. It was just… a fantasy. It was romantic and really corny. But… I mean…. I don't picture you as… lacking in the man department. I'm guessing you're… decent sized."

He rubs my knees and laughs.

"So when you think about this whole… sex thing. How soon do you think of?" he asks me.

"Not for a while… I mean… sooner would probably be better, because I don't know how long I'll be here. But… not for a while."

"Me either. Like… I've thought about it. But I've never actually wanted to do it…"

I get off his back and wander to the front of him. He kisses me again and rubs my back.

"…So tell me something that I don't know about you, Miss Demi?" he says.

"….like what?"

"Your middle name? your birthday? What you like to do?"

I laugh at how little we actually know about each other, but how madly in love with him I presume I am.

"…Devonne. August 20th…. I like to sing…"

"…Adam. August 15th, I like to sing too…"

"You any good? What do you like to sing?"

"I don't know if I'm good. Mostly things I write. I have two brothers who sing with me…"

"That's cool…"

He hugs me tight again and kisses my head.

"So, I love you, Demetria Devonne."

I laugh, "I think I might love you too Joseph Adam…"

"Can I at least know your last name?"

"…..It's… It's… Lovato. With two Os, one A."

"Jonas. Nice to cordially meet your acquaintance, Miss Lovato."

I laugh and kiss his chest.

He rubs the warm ocean water on my back,

I'm comfortable and content with this kind of love.


	10. Rest and Relaxation

Joe and I stayed in the water at the dark beach until the winds started to pick up, and I'm freezing.

"I think we need to… go home." I say as I shiver in his arms.

"You're cold, Demi…" he says, worriedly.

"Y..yeah? ar…aren't you?"

"No. I'm not cold. It's still a good 80 degrees out here…"

"W..well w…why aa…am i…s..soo ccc…cold?" I stutter.

"I don't know… but… I gotta get you home. Come on."

He scoops me up into his arms, runs fast through the water, and takes me to shore. I hold on to his chest so he doesn't drop me. He slows down, grabs my clothes and his, and keeps running to the cars. I'm still shivering.

"…D..Did yoo…you d…drive he..here?" I ask.

"No. I walked. I didn't want to take the car and wake her up… give me your car keys. I'll take you home."

I hand him the keys to the convertible, and we get in. I'm still shaking as he turns the heat in the car on. He drives up the road to my aunt and uncle's and gets out.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Demi. I love you…"

"..Wai…wait. You're not coming in? I don't want you to…leave. You'll have to walk home. Come in…"

Of course, I feel rotten about sneaking a boy into my aunt and uncle's house. I know that it's disrespectful, and I know that I would never do that if I were home. But I don't want Joe to walk home by himself, especially at 4:00 in the morning.

We go into my aunt and uncle's house quietly. He follows me upstairs and into room.

"Demi?" my uncle Jason calls from his and my aunt's room.

I stuff Joe into my room, shut the door, and go into their room.

"Yes uncle Jason?"

"Where'd you go?"

"I went for a drive… I couldn't sleep."

"Okay… don't forget to tell us when you leave. Even if we're asleep. Iz has a doctor's appointment early tomorrow morning, if you're sleep, we won't wake you. Don't be alarmed if you wake up and we're not home."

"Okay uncle Jason… um…. Sorry. I'll tell you next time. Goodnight…"

"Goodnight, Demi."

I shut their door again and go back to my room. Joe's standing to the left of my dresser, making a puddle on my floor from his dripping wet clothes. I latch the inside lock on my door.

"I would say we could both take showers… but my Uncle would notice if the shower water ran two times… so we just have to stay gross." I whisper.

"You can shower… I don't mind. I'll be all gross…" he whispers back.

"Joe that's not very fair."

"It's alright, Demi."

"Okay."

I go into my bathroom and run very hot shower water. I look at myself in the mirror. I look tired. I have bags under my eyes and everything. I turn to grab a clean towel and a clean rag out of my cabinet. I feel so bad that I'm showering from the nasty saltwater and sand and Joe is going to have to stay all gross. I swallow hard and etch my pride. I peek my head out the bathroom door and whisper out to him, "Joe?... Come get in the shower with me…"

Now, by this time, I'm mortified. I just met him a week and a half ago, and I'm letting him shower with me. I mean, I don't like for just anybody to see me naked. But on the other hand, it's Joe. I know that if I tell him, he won't think of me that way. It's just a shower. And if I tell him that I don't want to have sex, he wouldn't even try anything. Besides, it's not like he hasn't seen my body before. Now, I'm just gonna be naked. It's no big deal.

"Demi, I'm fine. Really I am. You go ahead and shower."

"Get in here and get in the shower with me. You aren't laying in my bed all nasty and sandy."

"Okay, okay. I'll get in."

He comes in the bathroom with me and takes off his shirt first. I'm still fully clothed. I hand him a towel and a wash rag. He takes off his pants next. My hands shake as I peel off my pants. I take off my shirt just as shakily. I unclasp my bra, throw it on the floor, and take down my underwear. I'm naked… in front of Joe. I turn my head for a split second, and he's naked too. His butt is really pale.

I think he can tell that I'm a little on edge about being naked, because he comes behind me and wraps his arms around me. He has his forearm across my boobs, and his other forearm across my waist. He kisses my cheek and whispers, "It's okay. I'm not thinking of you like that…"

I relax a little with that information. I turn and he gives me a short kiss on my lips. I step into the shower with him, and the water feels very good. He uses the wash rag I gave him to rub water all over my back. He kisses my neck softly as he does that. I want him to stop kissing my neck. He's turning me on, and I don't want this to be about sex. But I don't tell him to stop. I let him go, and the tender kisses on my neck don't stop.

I pull away from him and he lets me go. We both do our own thing. I squirt some bodywash onto my rag and hand the bottle to him. He puts some on his rag, and we both wash up. I don't look below his waist, and I don't catch him looking below mine. It's too complicated to wash my hair right now, so I just rinse it out from all the saltwater and sand. I hang my rag on the bar in the shower, and Joe does the same.

Just before I lean forward to turn off the water, he pulls me against his body again. I keep my bottom half as far away from his bottom half as I possibly can. He kisses my cheek again, and swipes my long, wet, black hair away from my face. I rest my cheek against his chest and let the water hit my back. He rubs my back softly. "This is perfect…" he whispers.

I close my eyes and smile. I'm so tired it's unreal. I could fall asleep in his arms, naked, just like this. I'm not close enough to him. I swallow my pride again, and close the distance between our bottom halves. I don't feel anything, which means he's soft. I relax again and smush myself closer to him.

"You need to sleep…" he says to me. I nod.

He turns off the shower water and steps out onto my rug. He hands me my towel, and wraps his around his waist. I dry off right then and there in the bathroom. My voice is tired and raspy. "…Were your pictures right?" I ask him despite my weariness.

"…I don't know. I didn't really pay attention to below your neck or below your waist… were your pictures right?"

"I didn't look…" I admit.

He kisses my cheek and pats my back.

I want things between me and Joe to be natural, with no tension. I don't want us to feel like we're hiding anything, or trying to be something that we aren't. I step away from Joe and open up my towel.

"Now tell me if your picture is right…" I nearly whisper.

He looks for about ten seconds, then looks back up to my face. "I was wrong…"

"Wrong about what?"

"…It's even better than I'd imagined."

I look down at my body. Better than he'd imagined? Though I can't see how. My skin is a sunkissed, golden brown. My waist is tiny and my stomach is flat, with a little pink heart charm dangling from my belly button. I'm thin below my waist too. I have small thighs. I realize that I fell into habit of shaving off my body hair when Trace demanded it. I'm nearly completely bald between my legs, and there is absolutely no hair on my legs. I hate my boobs, though. They're not very big. But they aren't exactly small either. They sit awkwardly high on my chest, and they weigh themselves down. Boobs are supposed to sag over, so that you can lift them up with a bra. It sounds weird, but my favorite boob is my left one, because it has a beauty mark on it near my nipple. Haha.

"How is it better?...i mean…"

"You're perfect, Demi."

I smile and dry my hair with a towel.

"what about your picture? Better or worse?" he asks. He opens his towel around his waist too, and my jaw just falls open.

"…What's wrong?"

I just stare at him for a while. My eye even twitches a bit.

"Demi?"

"….holy…. cow."

He's big. No, scratch that – he's huge. How am I ever supposed to…

I mean, guys are supposed to be small, right? They're supposed to be small down there until they get a boner, then it gets big. Right? Wrong. He's just huge. Boner or not. I imagine how much bigger he can get with a hard on. I can't… _do_ that. When I say he's huge, I mean it. He's huge. I'm not having sex with him. I can't.

"What's the matter, Demi? are you okay?" he asks me as he puts his cool hand on my forehead.

"….You're… and I'm… help?"

"Help what?"

"I'm not that big, Joe!"

He laughs hysterically. "We'll worry about that when the time comes, Demi. right now, let's get you to sleep."

The sexual tension between us is so…. Unyielding it's scary. What's stranger is that I actually enjoy it. I'm not supposed to want Joe so much, but I do. I've never had that before. I think that I've honestly wanted to have sex with Trace once. Every other time, I was forced to want to. So wanting Joe as badly as I do right now is new for me.

"it's not that big, babe." He says as he finishes drying himself off.

"Compared to what? a stick of pepperoni? That's huge." I shake my head.

He kisses my cheek.

I laugh again and he picks me up, naked and all. He takes me into my room and sits me down on the bed. I pull on a pair of underwear and a long tshirt. I hand him the only pair of basketball shorts that I own. They're a little small on him, but they'll do.

We both lay in bed together.

I lay on his chest and close my eyes.

"Demi?"

"…hmm?" I'm almost asleep now.

"…what do you mean you don't know how long you're gonna be here?"

"I don't know when my dad will tell me I can come home…"

"….please don't leave…"

I'm falling asleep.

"…I won't…"

"promise?"

"mmmhmm…."

I'm asleep.

I sleep very well.

It's that kind of sleep where you know you're sleeping, but you can feel that you're awake.

For a while after I sleep, I feel Joe rubbing my back, petting my hair, kissing my cheek and pulling me closer. It makes me sleep a whole lot better.

* * *

When I finally wake up, it's dusky outside.

I open my gloomy eyes and stare out the window. It's clearly an hour or two before sunset. I reach over as much as I can and grab my phone. It's 5:12 in the evening. Did me and Joe really fall asleep for thirteen hours? I yawn, and I feel so well rested. Joe is still holding me, and he is sleeping.

I yawn again and tap him. "Joe…"

"hmmm?" he answers me, his voice thick with sleep.

"…wake up. Wake up. It's five o clock…"

He sits up with me.

"We've been sleep for a while…." He says with a yawn.

"Yeah we have…"

He checks his phone. She called him four times, but he doesn't care. He doesn't call back.

"You wanna go down to the boardwalk for a little while?" he asks.

I yawn again and nod. I get out of bed and go to the door. I unsnap the latch on my door and go downstairs. There's a note on the fridge.

"Demi.

You were still asleep when we got home. If you're hungry, order something. We went to take Iz to get some new clothes. We'll be back by 8:00. Call us if you decide to go anywhere. Xoxo, Aunt Kathy."

I set the note on the counter and go back upstairs to Joe.

"Yeah… do you have clothes?" I ask him.

"Yeah I'll put on the ones I wore to the boardwalk last night."

"You don't have clean underwear…"

"I can go without them." he says with a chuckle.

I shrug and yank on a pair of blue jean shorts. I put on one of the hoodies I bought from American Eagle and slide on my flip flops. I'm ready.

He pulls on his pair of jeans and his V neck tshirt.

He follows me downstairs and we get into the black convertible. I make a mental note to call my aunt and uncle before 8:00.

It takes us about 3 minutes to get to the boardwalk. The festivities started already, and many of the rides are already open. The sunset on the beach is beautiful.

Joe and I walk around the amusement area hand in hand.

"You want some ice cream or something, babe? My treat.." Joe offers.

"…Sure."

He buys me my usual chocolate ice cream cone, dipped in cherry coating. He gets a vanilla cone with chocolate sprinkles. We sit down to eat the ice cream.

"So where's your wife?" I ask.

He licks his ice cream, "She's back at the house. She's supposed to go back to Pensacola today, to get away from me for a little while."

"Oh…"

"I gotta go home soon, Demi. just to see if she's alright, you know?"

"I thought you didn't care?"

"I don't. But I don't want her to hurt herself over me…"

We're both silent as we eat.

"…So what's the gutsiest thing you've ever done?" I ask him.

"…ever?"

"Ever."

"….I went streaking in the middle of traffic with my brothers once. It was funny, but we got grounded for a week." He laughs. I laugh too.

"What about you?" he asks.

"…Skinny dipping with my older sister in the middle of a lake where there were a thousand people around. It was a dare from my cousin." I answer.

Once, my cousin dared me and Dallas to go skinny dipping in the lake while we were camping. We did it, and there were about a thousand witnesses. My mom found out, but we weren't grounded. I got poison ivy real bad on my boobs and my butt, and Dallas was itching between her legs for a week before the doctor gave her calamine lotion for it. I guess my mom figured poison ivy was enough punishment.

"…So what's the gutsiest thing you ever WOULD do?" he asks.

I just laugh while I think.

"And if you can do it now, I dare you to do it." He adds. I laugh a little harder.

"…I would go hit on the guy working the hot dog booth as a joke." I laugh my answer.

The hot dog dude is fat, with grease stains in his shirt and a long grey beard. He is not attractive.

"I dare you to…"

"There's another thing…" I say.

"Like what?"

"…I'd… I'd have sex with you right in front of your wife and not care if she got mad." I mumble.

He laughs hysterically.

"I won't dare you to do that… but I do dare you to go hit on the hot dog dude."

"I will… before we leave. I promise."

"I'll hold you to the promise."

"So… what about you? What's the gutsiest thing you'd ever do?"

"…I'd stay married to Camilla if it meant she wouldn't hurt herself. But I'd move you in with us, just because I can."

"I don't dare you to do that…" I say uneasily.

"Something else…" I add. "You have to say something else so that I can dare you…"

"hmm…." He's thinking. He looks over at the line for the underwater rollercoaster that we're sitting beside. It's called the Tunnel Of Doom, but it's not a tunnel. It's a rollercoaster-type thing. "I'd….f.. can I just show you? Instead of telling you? Because I don't really want to say it. That way my dare is done…" he asks.

"Sure…"

"…We gotta go get on the water thing... And you gotta promise me you won't be mad at me or anything. For what I do…"

"I won't be mad…"

"Okay, come on then."

We both get up and throw our ice creams away. It's gonna be dark in the tunnel, which scares me. But I'm with Joe, so I'll be alright. I wonder what he's gonna do. Some part of me thinks that he's gonna kiss me, or even make out with me in front of the other people. I don't know though.

We get in the line for the ride. It's a little bit long, but we're near the front, and the line goes fast because four boats can go at once.

"How many?" the attendant asks us.

"Two." Joe says as he hands her four dollars.

"First boat to the right, please. Strap your seatbelts on tight, pull the lever down and we'll send you on your way. Please keep all hands, feet and articles inside the boat at all times. Please remember that monsters on this ride will not touch you. Please do not scream, shout or yell too loudly as you may upset the other riders. No animals inside the ocean will harm you. Please enjoy your ride on the Tunnel Of Doom." The attendant says like a recording.

I nod and climb into the boat. I scoot over to the side and lean against the back support. I'm scared. Joe sits beside me and straps us both in. I pull down the bar, and he holds my hand. Another attendant makes sure that we're strapped in correctly, and then he lets us go. I'm scared.

We make the first drop, and we're down underwater now, inside a tunnel. The walls of the tunnel are clear, and all I see is water on all sides of me. It's very dark.

"…Joe?..w…what's your dare?" I ask, my voice shaky.

"Are you scared baby?" he asks.

"Y..Yes I am…"

"…Okay. I'll do my dare. You won't worry about the ride. Promise me you won't be too mad at me?"

"I promise… I promise…"

"And you can't stop me… unless you really want me to stop."

"…Okay. Okay…" I say.

I close my eyes so I don't see anything. I'm so scared it's not funny.

Joe scoots closer to me and kisses my cheek.

I feel him put his hand on my hip.

"You can't be mad…" he whispers.

I just nod and keep my eyes closed. It's so dark in the tunnels that I can't even see. I don't know how Joe can.

He moves from my hip to the button of my shorts. He unsnaps the button in one motion, and glides the zipper down.

He can't be serious…

He slides his hand below my stomach, and goes into my underwear. His hand is cold against the warm skin between my thighs. I tense up.

He CAN'T be serious…

He uses two of his fingers to pry my legs apart from each other. I part them for him so he doesn't have to struggle. He scoots a little closer to me, and rests his face in my neck. He plants more kisses in the crook of my neck, which sends a shiver down my spine, and tingly feelings racing through the pits of my stomach.

He really can't be serious…

But I promised that I wouldn't stop him unless I really wanted him to stop.

The kisses he scrapes across my neck are driving me crazy. He opens his mouth slightly, and I feel his tongue press against my neck. He sucks on my neck softly, and I really can't take it. I let out an uneven breath.

He uses the same two fingers to part me open. He uses his middle finger, and digs inside of me. I get chills, and let out a very soft, almost inaudible moan. It feels like we've been on the ride for hours, but I know that we've only been on here for about two minutes now. It's a ten minute, thirty second ride.

He pulls the longest of his fingers out of me, and digs back in again. He was right. I'm not even thinking about the ride anymore. I'm not scared.

He breathes into my neck, and plants another kiss below my ear as he digs his finger into me a third time. I let my eyes close very softly, and my head moves with the feelings I'm having below. I can feel that he's using only one finger, and it's still a very tight squeeze.

He drags his finger out of me, and rubs me along me outside. I jolt smoothly upwards as he rubs the right spot in circles with the pad of his finger. "…Joe…" I whisper so softly that he probably can't hear. He kisses me on my neck again and guides his finger back to where I open. He pushes his finger back inside, and it fits snugly.

I feel a wave of heat come over my body, and I buck forward. I reach down with my own hand and push his already working hand deeper between my legs. His finger digs deeper inside my body. I open my mouth to moan again, but nothing comes out. I feel myself release all over his hand. I'm breathing a little heavy.

He seals off his dare with a soft kiss on my lips, and pulls his finger out of me, out of my underwear, and out of my pants. I'm suddenly relaxed, and very tired, though I'd slept for thirteen hours. Not physically tired, but mentally. I'm calm now, and I lay my head on his shoulder.

As gentlemen as he could, he re-buttons my shorts and re-zips them up.

He wraps his arm around my lower back and pulls me closer to him. I let my head fall onto his chest. I can't remember the last time I'd done that. It's happened twice before, when I was having sex with Trace. But it's been a long while since.

He rubs my hips lovingly and kisses me again.

"…I love you…" he whispers to me.

I love him too. But I'm too calm to say that. I'm too mellow. That was the perfect dare.

He kisses my head and says it again, "I love you."

I smile, full of satisfaction.

"I love you…" he whispers again.

I Finally don't feel any sexual... tension between us.

Oh my god, it was perfect.


	11. Family

Joe has his arm around my waist as we walk from the boardwalk to the parking lot.

"Would you mind meeting my family?" he asks me.

I look at him like he's out of his mind. His family? He's still MARRIED for crying out loud.

"I can't meet your family, Joe. You're married and… you're married." I say.

"Demi, it's okay. They know that I'm working towards getting separated from her. if they meet you, it won't be that big of a deal."

"…like in Pensacola?" I ask.

"Yeah. I wanna take you up there to meet them. sometime tomorrow." He says.

I reluctantly agree.

We load ourselves into the car and he drives back to my aunt and uncle's. normally, I'd be freaking out about going to meet Joe's family tomorrow, but I'm still rather relaxed from the tunnel incident. I don't have any worries right now.

We get back to my house and Joe kisses me goodbye.

"…You can come in." I mention to him.

"…Are you sure?" he asks.

I nod, and walk up to the door. I knock and my uncle Jason comes to the door.

"Hey Demi…. Demi's friend." He greets us and lets us in.

"This Joe, Uncle Jason. My…friend, Joe."

"Nice to meet you, Joe." My uncle says.

"You too, sir."

We step into the house and take our shoes off at the door.

"Kathy. Demi brought a friend home." My uncle calls to my aunt in the kitchen.

My aunt rounds the corner and meets Joe and I at the door.

"…He's a cute one, Demi." she says. Joe laughs and I roll my eyes at her. She catches my drift.

"I'll let you guys go ahead and do what you want to do. I'll call down for dinner when it's done. I'm making a pan of lasagna for tonight."

"Okay, thanks aunt Kathy." I say and I drag Joe upstairs to my room.

"That went… well." Joe says with a laugh.

"Yeah, if you say so." I mutter.

I flop down on my bed, and he lays next to me. It's kind of late, around 8:45.

Joe scoots towards me and wraps his arms around me. "You excited to meet my parents tomorrow?"

"Not excited… more nervous." I mumble.

I turn on my side and put my top leg up on Joe like he's a pillow, and I'm putting a pillow between my legs. I smuggle my head in his chest and lay there. He puts his hand under my thigh and pulls my leg closer on him.

"Don't be nervous… my family won't bite."

I laugh a little and kiss his lips. He kisses me back, and takes my bottom lip between his two lips and sucks on it. I need him to stop, because he's turning me on. "Joe…" I mutter with one of my lips in his.

"Just relax…" he whispers when he finally lets my lip go. He moves back to the spot on my neck that he was kissing in the tunnel. I curl my hands in his hair and let him go. "We have to talk…" Joe mumbles with his face still in my neck.

"Talk about what?" I manage to spit out.

"What happened on that ride…" he says. He nibbles softly on a spot right below my ear. I grip his hair tightly, to bear with the fact that I want him so much.

"What about that?" I ask.

"I wanted to know if you liked it…" he says. He kisses me back on my lips strokes my face.

"Well I didn't hate it…" I say, heavy on the sarcasm.

"Yeah? Well I loved it." He says. I chuckle and kiss him again.

He slides his tongue softly into my mouth and I kiss him back patiently. I wait for him to be done, so that I can suck on his lip too. I rub on his butt and rub his lower back too. I want him so badly.

I slide my hands up his shirt and tug it off him, and throw it to the floor. He keeps kissing me, and I let my hands explore his enormously muscular body. I put my hands on his shorts and pull them off too. He's only in his boxers, but I'm fully clothed. I reach under his chest to take off my own shirt.

"Demi, stop…" he says, his mouth still against mine.

"Stop what?"

"Stop taking our clothes off…"

"Why?...Just getting it started…"

He kisses my neck one last time and pulls away. "Not tonight…"

"Why?!"

"I'm gonna do this right… and the right way isn't gonna be a six minute quickie in your bedroom before your aunt calls for dinner."

"I don't mind a quickie…" I say, pulling his lips back to mine. I yank off my shirt so that I'm in my bra.

He kisses me back deeply and strokes his hands around my waist. "But I mind a quickie…"

"Joe, please." I almost beg. I keep kissing him and trying to take my pants off.

"Enough, Demetria!" he yells at me, yanking back on my pants.

I stop with the whole undressing thing. Joe can probably sense that I'm upset. I just find it funny that he doesn't want to have a quick round of sex with me, but he'll get in my pants on an amusement park ride. Is it my fault?

He puts his hands on my face and kisses me softly. "We will eventually have sex, Demi. just not here, not now. I wanna do it the right way… respect that?"

I sigh.

"Sure…" I mutter.

"I love you…" he says to me.

I kiss him again, "I love you too."

* * *

Today's the day where I go up to Pensacola and meet Joe's family.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm so nervous I could piss myself. Joe's coming to pick me up around 11:00.

So I get out of bed at 10:00 and get into the shower. I wash my body so hard that I could bleed, and wash my hair for the first time in days. When I smell clean, I get out and dry myself. I put on the only pushup bra that I have and the matching underwear. I pick out a pair of blue jean shorts, and yank them on up my legs. They're loose, so I put on a silver sparkly belt. I put on a black tank top with silver hearts on it, and slide on my silver flip flops. I comb through my wet hair and blow-dry it. Luckily, I have the kind of hair that falls into bouncy waves whenever it dries, so I just leave it be. I need another haircut. My hair falls just past my boobs, even when it's wavy and messy.

I put on some eyeshadow that matches the color of my skin, some mascara, and some eyeliner. I pat on very little foundation and go downstairs to wait for Joe. He should be here any minute.

I flick on the TV and grab my phone. No text messages and no calls.

I watch a rerun of Full House and wait. It's an hour drive to Pensacola, and I'm not even dreading it.

I hear the beep come from outside, and I shut off the tv.

"I'm leaving aunt Kathy, see you in a little while!" I yell up the stairs to her and grab my jacket. I flee out the door to Joe's car.

"Goodmorning, gorgeous." Joe greets me. I kiss his lips, strap on my seatbelt, and settle in for the ride.

Joe starts to drive up a highway.

"So, babe. You still nervous?" he asks.

"Of course…. And I'm a little hungry…"

"oh… I'll…well… my mom loves to cook, so we can eat there."

I nod and look straight. We're out of Key West now, driving across the water on a bridge.

I look out the window and look down. There are boats passing by under the bridge, and the water makes me nervous.

"So, tell me about your family?" I ask him to distract myself.

"I have three brothers. One older, two younger. Kevin has curly hair and he's the tallest. Nick has a curly afro, and he's small. Frankie is the youngest. If it's all normal up there, Kevin's wife will be there. And maybe their kid."

"Their kid?"

"Yeah. I have a nephew. He's only a couple months old. You probably won't see him, though."

"Why not?"

"Because Danielle is freakishly protective, and my mom doesn't know how to put him down."

"What's his name?"

"My mom just calls him amore. It means love in Italian. But his name is Alonzo."

"Big Italian family?"

"Oh yeah."

"I actually like babies…"

"I like them too. But like I said, you probably won't be able to hold him."

"Is he cute?"

"Well, I think he is."

I laugh a little. I'm starting to relax.

"So what are you?" he asks me.

"….human?" I answer sarcastically.

"No, like… are you Italian? I mean, you kind of look it. With the tan skin and black hair."

"…black isn't my natural hair color. I'm a brunette. But yeah…I am. I'm Italian. Sicilian, to be exact. I still have cousins that live in Sicily. But I'm actually Hispanic too. Mainly Hispanic and Italian. Little bit of irish too."

"You're latina?"

"Yeah… my dad is like… three quarters Mexican. Something like that."

"….hot."

I laugh again and kiss his cheek. He keeps his eyes on the road.

We get there in the usual hour. We pull up in front of an ENORMOUS house. The house is incredibly big. I can't even describe or compare it. Biggest house I've ever seen in my life.

"Don't be scared…" joe says as he helps me out the car.

I'm nearly shaking.

"They're expecting you, Demi. it's okay. You'll be fine…"

He holds my hand and we both walk up to the front door. Joe knocks once and walks right in. I'm right behind him.

"Mom… Dad… Guys, we're here…" he says.

I'm shaking right now. I'm so nervous that I can barely walk. My legs are like Jello.

He sits me down on a very comfortable couch in a living room that doesn't have a TV.

I hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

A small woman walks down the steps and stands with us. She's short, very thin, has cream colored skin, dark curls, and a rounded face. She seems very soft.

"Hi, Joseph." She says. Her voice is calming and soothing just like the way she looks. She gives Joe a hug and turns to me.

"Hi, honey. I'm Mrs. Jonas. But you can call me Denise. Joe's told us so much about you…"

"Nice to meet you too, Miss Denise. I'm Demi…"

To my immense surprise, she pulls me in to a warm hug. I hug her back and relax. It's nice to be welcomed like this.

"So… Joe did tell me that he's trying to date other people… but he didn't tell us how pretty his new one was." She comments.

I blush, "thank you…"

"No problem, hon. I hope you're both hungry. Because I cooked a very big lunch."

"I am…" I say.

Joe holds my hand to ease my nerves.

I'm nervous to meet the rest of Joe's family. But if they're anything like his mom, I have nothing to be afraid of. Time will tell, I guess.

I relax myself and prepare to meet the other members of the Jonas family.


	12. I Made Up My Mind

After Joe's mom finished showing me around the house, nearly every member of Joe's family was at the house, and I could almost tell them by name. Ever notice how weird it is to be in a room full of people, and they all know your name, but you don't know theirs?

I know who Joe's brothers are. Nick is the short one, with skinny little arms, a skinny little waist, and a mess of curls on his head. Frankie was the little one, hard to mix him up with anyone. I don't know what Kevin looks like yet, because he and his wife aren't here yet. They'll be here in a little while. Joe's mom is the nice. She's the first one to make me comfortable. Both of Joe's mom's parents are also here. Joe's dad's parents live in New Jersey, so they aren't here. His grandma asks me a whole lot of questions. Though his grandmother is in her early eighties, she doesn't look much older than his mother. They both look relatively young, and strikingly similar. His grandfather is a tiny old man with wispy white hair and rosy, wrinkly cheeks. Joe's dad is intimidating. He is short, heavier-set and a little wide. He has glasses and dark brown hair, and everything he says to me is either extremely witty or extremely sarcastic. I won't say he doesn't like me, because it's evident that he does like me. But I feel like he's trying to like me a little too hard, you know?

"Demi, you can sit right here for lunch, right beside Nicholas and Joseph." Mrs. Jonas says as she sets a white china plate down on a dark red and gold placemat. She puts a folded napkin to the right of the plate and silverware to the left. She sets a tall glass cup on top of the plate, and she pulls out the chair for me. I sit down, and Joe sits to my right. Nick sits to my left.

"My family always wanted me to marry an Italian girl. It's kind of like… their secret wish. So don't be surprised if they ask you about that." Joe says. He holds my hand under the table and strokes my knuckles.

"Camilla wasn't Italian? She looked it…" I whisper.

"No, she was. She was Italian. It's just… she didn't like the Italian food, you know? She hated the idea of having a big Italian family, an Italian wedding, all that stuff. She almost hated being Italian. My family didn't like that…" he says. He kisses my hand and puts it back under the table.

Mrs. Jonas is in the kitchen making the last minute preparations for the food, and his grandfather is helping her.

"So… Demi. Where are you from?" his grandmother asks me.

I clear my throat, "I live in California. I'm only in Key West for a little while. With my aunt and uncle…"

"That's nice."

Joe uses the brim of his hand to push a glass of water close to me. I pick up the water and sip it.

"Your name, Demi. That's a really pretty name. It's what, French?" she continues the questions.

"Yeah… I think. I think that 'Demi' is French, but that isn't my full name."

"It's not? What is your full name then, dear?"

"It's Demetria. Like… with an I-A at the end."

"Like the Grecian goddess?"

"Yes ma'am."

"So is your family from Athens? Are you Greek?" she seems really interested in me.

"No ma'am. I guess my mom just liked the name…"

"So what is your nationality?"

"…My dad is three quarters Mexican. One part Venetian. Two of his cousins still live in Venice, Italy. The majority of his family lives down in San Lucas, Mexico. So I'm Latina. My mom, she's equal parts Irish, Italian… some other things."

"So you've got family in Venice?"

"Sicily too."

She nods, as if she's giving me her formal approval. "She's a little cutie, Joe."

Joe squeezes my hand under the table. "I know she is…" he says back. He leans over and kisses my cheek lightly. "You're doing good." He whispers in my ear. I smile.

"You've got an award-winning smile there, Demi. You ever have braces?" Mr. Jonas asks me.

"No, sir. But I did have a gap bonded in my front two teeth."

"Guys, stop interrogating her…" Joe says in a stern voice.

"I don't mind…" I say in a small voice.

"Kevin and Danielle are here!" Frankie says excitedly.

"Come on, babe. There's two more people you need to meet." Joe says to me.

We both let up, and he holds my hand as we walk back into the main living room. Joe's older brother is tall and a bit muscular. He has bunchy, curly hair and a serious look to him. His wife is the polar opposite. She is short and very slender. She has light brown hair with loose curls and a goofy, unserious, gentle look about her. She's kind of pretty.

Denise is fumbling around with a car seat that is on the couch, and everyone else is greeting the two adults. Joe leaves my side, and I feel vulnerable.

"Hey, Kev…. Dani." Joe says as he gives them both a hug. I play with my thumbs and look down. I even tuck a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. I feel totally under-dressed standing in this room. I'm a little nervous too. I wish Joe would come back to my side.

"Oh, guys. This is my new… girlfriend. Her name's Demi." Joe introduces me to them. I put on a smile and wave at them.

"Demi, this is Kevin. That's Danielle…"

"Nice to meet you…" I say in a still small voice.

"She's already better than that thing you brought here the first time." Kevin grumbles. I smile at that comment.

"It's nice to meet you, too. How old are you?" Danielle asks me. She's nice.

"I'm eighteen years young…" I say.

"You're so cute. And I LOVE your hair."

"Thank you… I like yours too."

I can already tell that me and Danielle are going to be good friends if Joe and I stay together.

The rest of the family joins us in the living room. The majority of them coo over the soft bundle in Denise's arms. The four brothers and Danielle are all catching up. I'm standing alone in a corner near the bookcase. I really wish Joe would bring his ass back over to me. Suddenly, I feel tears sting the corner of my eyes.

"Is everyone ready to eat?" Denise asks as she hands the blue bundle to Danielle. Everyone all starts to file into the dining room.

Joe comes back to me and holds my hand again. "You nervous?" he asks. I nod fast. I'm crying a little bit, but I'm not even sad.

"…Are you crying? What's the matter?" he asks, worriedly.

I swipe my tears away and nod.

Joe stands in front of me so that I can't walk any further and he puts his hands on my face. He waits until everyone clears out into the dining room to talk to me.

"Why are you crying, babe?" he plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Please stop crying." Another kiss on my head.

"You're doing fine… you're doing okay. Please don't cry." A third kiss on my forehead.

I sniff hard and look up at Joe. "I'm fine." I say.

He pushes his lips to mine and tangles his hand in my hair. When he pulls away, our lips make a sucking sound. "Love you." He says.

"Love you too." I say.

He pulls me in to his chest by my lower back and holds me there. He strokes my hair and rubs my lower back. "You okay now?"

I nod, still holding him tightly. My arms are locked around his lower back so tightly, I'm surprised he can breathe.

"Gimme another kiss and we'll go eat." He says.

I lean my head up to him again, and he kisses me. He kisses me long and deep this time. His soft tongue strokes all the corners of my mouth and massages my tongue with care. I don't want to pull away from him. I reach my hand up and curl it into his hair. He holds my face still with his hands and deepens the kiss. When the only other option is for him to stick his tongue down my throat (I wouldn't mind that), he pulls away from me. He pecks me again on my lips, then lets me go.

"Let's go eat." He whispers.

I nod, and we both walk into the dining room. Everyone else is talking amongst themselves, but they aren't eating just yet. Joe and I sit in our seats without a word.

I load my plate with spaghetti, bread, salad and some iced tea. Lunch is actually good.

After lunch with Joe's family, it was about 3:30.

Joe takes me out to sit on the patio, just me and him. When everything is all cleaned up, we're going to go back inside to have "family-time."

"Do you like my family, babe?" he asks.

I nod, "They just make me nervous."

"Yeah, I know. But they like you. I can tell that they do."

"…Why are you letting me meet them? we're not that serious yet, Joe."

"I'm serious about you… whether you're serious about me or not, I don't know. But I'm serious about you."

I blush, "I love you."

He holds my hand again.

"You know what my mom told me?" he asks.

"No, what?"

"She told me that she can usually tell when her boys find a girl that they like. Because we act differently when the girl is here. Nobody else notices how different we act except for her. she says that I'm acting so different that it's noticeable to the whole family… she thinks that me and you are gonna be together for quite some time…"

"…How are you acting different?"

"Protecting you. Acting like nobody else in the room matters unless you're happy…. Things like that."

I smile again, "Now, Joe. You wouldn't want to be married twice by the time you're twenty two, now would you?" I tease him.

He shrugs, "I wouldn't care. But if I married you… I wouldn't divorce you…"

"What makes me so different than her?"

"I don't know. I don't like the idea of divorce. But I don't care so much, divorcing her. if I was married to you, divorce wouldn't be an option. We'd have to work it out… because I think I care for you more than I do her…"

I kiss him again and smile, "good answer."

Just then, we both hear the sliding door open. Joe looks back, and so do I. It's Danielle.

"Joe? Could you watch him for a second? Kevin and I have to go do something. We'll be back in about… fifteen minutes. Could you keep an eye on him?" she asks, holding out the usual blue bundle to Joe.

"Of course I can. Do you mind if Demi…?" he asks.

"Of course I don't. I only minded when your other girl did, because she was a bit of a… well… a bitch." Danielle laughs. "Thanks guys." She adds and goes back into the house.

I turn my attention to Joe, to get a glimpse of what's inside the bundle.

Joe takes the blanket off the baby, and I can finally see him. He's beautiful.

He has pale skin. He has chubby, rosy cheeks and a little pug nose. His hair is dark brown and very fluffy. His eyes are a very pretty light brown color, and his entire body is so chubby that I want to just squish him. He's adorable.

"Oh my god…" I whisper.

"What? told you he's cute…" Joe says.

"Lemme hold him…"

Joe hands him over, and I put him on my chest. I used to hold Maddie like this when she was little.

Alonzo lays his heavy head on my chest and looks at Joe. He's sucking on a big blue pacifier. I stroke his hair and his little feet.

"Do you like babies, Demi?" Joe asks.

"I love them…I love them a lot."

Alonzo grabs a lock of my hair and chews on it. I pull my hair out of his mouth and rub his back.

"So you do want kids someday?" He asks.

"Of course I do. I want a little girl though." Alonzo rubs his eyes really hard, so I lay him across my lap and rub his stomach. He sucks on his pacifier rhythmically and his eyes grow heavy.

"You're… natural at it. How'd you know he's sleepy?"

"He's rubbing his eyes, Joe."

Alonzo starts to cry a little loud, and he flails his arms. I catch his pacifier before it falls to the ground and gets dirty. I loop the ring of the pacifier on my finger and examine him. He's just a crying mess.

"Maybe he's still sleepy…" Joe comments.

"…..No." I shake my head. I pick him up and lay him over my shoulder. I pat on his back softly. He burps and stops crying. "His tummy was hard, which meant he was a little gassy."

"…That's crazy…" Joe shakes his head.

I put the pacifier back in his mouth and rock him. His eyes are heavy.

"…You're good at this…" he whispers.

"Good at what?"

"Being a mom…"

"I had a little sister to practice on…"

Joe stares at me a little more, his eyes wondering.

I'm busy trying to get the baby to sleep.

"Yeah, that's it." Joe nods. He's talking to himself, but I still want to know what he's talking about.

"What's it?"

"….Don't laugh at me or anything. But I already made up my mind…"

"Made up your mind about what?"

"You're going to be the mother of my kids someday… just thought you should know that."

I smile, "I'd like that…"


	13. Disrupted Pleasure

On our way back home from Pensacola, I call my mom. Joe doesn't mind me being on the phone.

"Hello?" my mom answers.

"Hey mom… what's up?" I say. I put her on speaker.

"Demetria Devonne. Why haven't you been calling me back? I'm ready to kill you. Me and daddy have things to tell you. You're a thousand miles away from us and you don't answer your phone? Come on, Demi. Think a little." She scolds me.

I roll my eyes, "Okay mom. Sorry. I'm a little busy here in Florida. Not my fault. What do you and daddy need to talk to me about?"

"Me and Daddy just wanted to tell you that you can come home if you want to. No, we didn't catch him and no, he isn't in jail yet. But the police are on high watch and we think it's safe for you to come back if you want to."

"Well… that's good. But I don't want to come home just yet, mom. I like it here in Florida. I like it a lot…"

"Again, does a boy have anything to do with this?" she prods.

"….Possibly." I can't disguise the smile in my voice.

"Tell me about him, baby. I have time to listen…"

"..Where are you at mom?"

"I'm sitting here waiting for Dallas and Madison's hair appointment to be over. So I have time."

"Okay…. His name….. is Joe. Mom, don't freak out, okay? He's twenty-one. But he's really really nice. And…. I think I might really love him."

"Demi, you've been in Florida for like… a month. It'll be a month in three days. How much could you possibly know about him? And he's three years older than you, Demetria." she doesn't seem to approve.

"Mom, I know. But… I mean, mom. I… I feel a lot different than I ever have with Trace. And it's a good different. And mom, he's nice to me. Really nice. And the whole older thing… that's a good thing. He can take care of me. Mom, he's nice…"

"Demetria, No. Actually, I want you home this weekend. You don't know anything about him, he could be a rapist, he could beat you, he could have children, he could be another Trace. Demi, forget about it. You're coming home this weekend." She nearly yells at me.

I look over at Joe. His face is hard and sullen, and he's staring at the road. I can tell that he's upset. I reach over and pull Joe's hand in mine. I stroke his hand.

"…Mom, you can't tell me what to do. Mom, he's NOT like Trace."

"I don't care, Demetria. You don't know him."

"I KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT HIM, MOM. HE'S DIFFERENT… I know he is…"

"Demi… he's going to… I mean, DEMI. you don't even know him!"

"That's why I want to stay in Florida. Mom, please. Just let me stay for a little…"

"Whatever, Demi. but if he turns out to be not what you thought, DON'T call me." She hangs up.

I sigh hard. She pissed me off. How can she judge Joe from California? SHE doesn't know him. I do. And I know that Joe would never hurt me the way Trace did. I know that Joe would die to protect me.

"I'm sorry…" I apologize to him.

"Don't worry about it, girly. I understand your mom. I'd be more worried if she didn't act like that. It's alright." He says.

We stop at a stoplight, in the middle of rush-hour traffic. It's gonna take a really long time to get home.

"Demi, I love you." He says. He looks over at me and kisses my cheek. "And I'll never let anybody hurt you."

I smile, and the dimples in my cheeks come out. "I love you too…"

"You want to… stay over my house tonight?" he asks.

I nod, "I'd like that… but where would she be?"

"She doesn't come back to Key West anymore. She stays in Pensacola. She doesn't want to be near me, so she says." He answers.

I have a question for him. I'm not exactly sure if I want to know the answer to this question, but I desperately need to ask it. I swallow a lump in my throat and ask anyway.

"Joe? When's the last time… you… um… had sex… with her?" I ask nervously.

"…Why?"

"Just answer the damned question."

"…Last weekend…"

I roll my eyes and turn away from him. I stare out the window at the water below the bridge we're crossing. I'm going to cry soon, and I don't want him to see it. I roll down the window for a little bit of air.

"Demi... I'm sorry."

I just shake my head. I guess I don't care if he sees me cry.

I slouch down in the seat and pull my knees up to my chest. I cover my hands over my eyes and start to cry. It sucks that he still has sex with her. She must still mean something to him. He won't have sex with me, but he'll still lay in the bed with her and screw her. I lick my bottom lip and sniff hard.

"Demi, it was just sex… I swear it wasn't meaningful."

I use the pads of my fingers to wipe my eyes.

"Demi, honey… please don't be mad at me… I didn't even…"

"Why'd you do it? I thought you hated each other. You don't screw people you hate."

"We were bored. That's really all. It was like… ten minutes and then that was it. I left her after I was done. I had a date with you…"

I throw my hands up, "So you come kiss me, hug me, hold me, finger me…. After you have sex with her?... that's great, Joe. Really."

"Demi, it's not like that… it was just sex. I have needs, you know? And…. She was the only one…"

"You'll take off your clothes for her, because you have no other option. But…. I have to beg you… to make love to me… and I want to be your only option. Am I not an option to you?"

"I meant that she was the only one actually willing to at the moment…"

"All you have to do is say the word to me, Joe. I want to have sex with you, but you won't. and… instead of having sex with me, who is WILLING, you'd have sex with your soon-to-be ex wife?"

"That's not it, Demi…"

"Then please tell me what it is, Joe. Because I really need to know."

"Demi…."

"Whatever, Joe. Take me home."

"No."

I grind my teeth hard and grip the door handle. I'm so pissed right now that I could kill someone.

Joe takes the road opposite of taking me home and takes me to his house.

"Joe, I want to go HOME I said."

"Demi, I said no."

He gets out the car and comes around to my side. He lets me out the car, but I stay in.

"I want to go HOME."

"NO."

"TAKE ME HOME, NOW!"

"Just get out the car, Demi."

"I WANT TO GO HOME!"

"I'M NOT TAKING YOU HOME! NOT WHEN YOU'RE MAD AT ME!"

"WHY NOT?!"

"….because I never know if you'll decide to not talk to me again. So no. You're staying here." He says as sturdily as he can. He grabs my hand and pulls me roughly out the car.

"Joe… take me home. I want to go home."

He lifts me up and pushes me against the car again. He holds me there.

"I will, okay? I will." He whispers to me.

"You will what? Take me home?"

"No… not take you home. But….I will. I was just scared to. Because I don't want to hurt you… and especially after what you said that day we showered together… I didn't want to hurt you."

"Hurt me?"

"Yeah… I hurt Camilla a few times, but I never really cared, because she wasn't that… well…. She wasn't… so…. You know… tight. But you…. Are. From what I've… witnessed."

My legs are still wrapped around Joe's waist, and I'm still against the car.

"You're not making any sense to me, Joe." I tell him bluntly. I wish he'd stop trying to talk in circles around me. Because I don't get it.

He sighs, "The first time I banged Camilla, I hurt her. Because of my… size. She was a virgin when we first did it. I wasn't one. So I hurt her, and she cried and didn't enjoy the first time. I really wasn't worried about her, though. Because she wasn't that… tight down there. But…. You are. I mean, I could barely get a second finger in there when we were on the ride…. So I'm scared that I'll hurt you. I'm just scared, Demi. It's not personal, I swear. It isn't anything against you. I just don't want to hurt you."

"…but I'm not a virgin, Joe. You won't hurt me."

"Don't say that, Demi."

"…So what if you do hurt me? I don't care…"

"But I do, Demi. I don't want to hurt you. I want you to enjoy it…"

"I'll be alright, Joe. I love you…"

He pulls back away from me and kisses me deeply, "I love you too, beautiful. And I will…. I will have sex with you…"

"…How soon?"

"…How soon can you get out of your clothes?" he asks. He kisses me again and lets me down from the car.

We both rush into the house.

* * *

"So you have had sex before?" he asks me.

"yeah.."

I take off everything, except for my bra and underwear. He only has boxers on.

"I promise I'll be gentle with you…" he says. He takes me in his arms and kisses me. I kiss him back.

"Do you have a condom?" I ask.

"…I have a couple. Me and Camilla don't really use them, but I have them."

I nod and kiss him again.

"Come on… we're gonna get in the bathtub first…" he says.

I nod again and follow him to the bathroom.

He puts pink bubble-bath into the tub and starts the really hot water.

When the tub is all filled, I take off my bra and underwear and step in.

He sits behind me, naked.

I lean against him and relax. He kisses my neck from behind, which turns me on.

I hold his hand and let him kiss my body.

He leaves a trail of kisses down the back of my neck, and I shiver. I massage his hand.

"Demi, I love you…" he whispers to me. He leaves wet kisses all over my neck.

"I love you too…" I say back.

The water feels good to both of us. I close my eyes and let him caress me.

Joe puts his hand beneath my leg and pulls it apart from my other leg. I'm nervous. Is this it?

I take a deep breath.

He slides his hand down my stomach, past my belly ring, to the top of my groin where my pubic hair would grow if I had any.

I close my eyes tighter and bite my tongue.

He slides his hand down a little more so that he's where I open.

"….Let me in?" he whispers to me so soft that I shiver.

I nod and shift my weight to allow him inside.

One of his fingers pierces inside of me, and I gasp. No, it doesn't hurt. It just feels good. I bite my tongue a little harder. He moves his finger around inside of me to "loosen" me up. I don't say a word. "Tell me if I'm hurting you…." He says. I just nod. Slowly, he adds a second finger to me. I whimper a little bit. It doesn't hurt. I just don't want to moan.

He moves his two fingers softly for a little while. He's driving me crazy. I don't know if I'm wet down there or not, because I'm already in water. So I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt and say that I am. I reach down and push his fingers in more. He moves his fingers in opposite directions. I whimper again.

He kisses my cheek and rubs water on my chest with his free hand. "I love you…" he whispers. I answer him with a moan. I just want to find my way to a bed and take him inside of me without any complaints. I'm not used to that. I never wanted that with Trace.

He pulls his fingers out of me and rubs the outside. I curl my toes under and grip the side of the bathtub. He rubs the most sensitive part of me in wide, vigorous circles. "Are you ready?" he asks me, giving me a kiss on my shoulder. I just nod.

Gently, he lifts me out of the bathtub. He cradles me and carries me to the bedroom and lays me on the bed. I'm soaking wet, and the bedsheets are getting wet too. I guess he doesn't care. I lay there, waiting for Joe.

Joe rips a foil packet open and takes the contents of it out. He rolls it down his entire nine inches, and secures it in place. I look away when I start to think of how big nine inches really is. What's worse is how thick it is. I shiver again.

He climbs in the bed with me and pulls a sheet over the both of us. He kisses me again and grabs my waist. He yanks me towards him and pulls me into a straddle on top of his body. "Don't worry… I'll be easy." He says. I nod and lift up, ready to take him on.

He guides himself to where I open and pushes no more than the head inside. It doesn't hurt. "You okay?" he checks on me. I nod. He pushes another inch inside and looks up at me. I nod again. He holds my hand with the hand that's not guiding himself, and shoves it in as far as possible. It doesn't hurt. In fact, I let a moan slip out. "You okay?" he asks again. I nod fast. "I love you.." he says.

I've never been on top before. I don't know what to do up here. But I have seen a couple movies where the girl is on top. And I have a general idea of what I should do. I wobble a bit on top of him, but I balance myself by putting my hands on his chest.

He wraps his arms around my waist and moves me back and forth, slowly. This isn't too satisfying. I want better… I move his hands from off me, and do it myself. I rock back and forth pretty fast, and I rub his chest. I just move my hips as if I were dancing or something. Joe seems to enjoy this, which makes me feel like I can go faster. I rock my hips faster, and he groans. He rubs my hips lovingly.

"shit…" joe mumbles. It's sexy when he groans and mumbles. "bounce a little bit, babe…" he instructs me.

I don't listen to him right away. I debate within myself on what it means to bounce. Does he mean just keep going like I'm going, but bob up and down a little? Or does he mean to actually come up off his shaft? I don't know. So I do the second one, because it seems likely.

I bounce up and down kind of high, and that drives him wild. I smile a little and lean down. "Like that?" I ask him and he nods. This honestly does feel amazing.

Joe pushes me over, so that I'm on bottom and he just goes crazy. He's going so fast that I can't keep up. I lose count of how many strokes he's done after thirty in the first minute. I'm not even trying to disguise my moans anymore. All I can hear now is my loud cries of pleasure, and the annoying buzzing of my phone ringing on the dresser.

Joe has my legs open so wide that I never even knew my legs could be open that far. And I know it's not physically possible, but I swear that every single inch of him is inside of me. I feel myself dragging my nails deep across his back. He has his face tucked in my neck and he's going so fast that my moans are turned into ripples. Like if you make a noise with your mouth, and tap your hand over your mouth while you make that noise? My moans are like that.

Joe and I do a little bit of everything. I was on top, then on bottom. I was on my side, on my knees, my legs were in the air, on his shoulders, my arms were around his back, around his neck, gripping a pillow or two. Joe was even between my legs, if you know what I mean. Trace never did that. Well, he never did that to me, at least. He always thought that giving me oral was disgusting, but he was quick to ask me to give him oral. I never did, and I didn't give it to Joe either.

* * *

"Was that good?" he asks me.

He's holding me around my waist as I brush my hair in the mirror. I have on my bra and underwear, and he has on his boxers.

"It was amazing, babe…" I tell him. And it really was. I've never had sex like that before.

"I love you…" he says as he plants a kiss on my lips.

"I love you too…" I say.

"I'm gonna go take a shower, okay?" he says.

I nod.

My phone starts buzzing for the millionth time. I answer it this time.

"Yes, mom? What do you need?" I answer, still completely buzzed and in a daze from the sex.

"Demi?! Demi, are you okay?!"

"Yeah mom, I'm fine. What about you?"

"Why didn't you answer my calls the first times?!"

"…I was busy, mom. What's wrong?!"

"…Demi, where are you? Are you home? At aunt Kathy's?"

"..No, mom. I'm at Joe's… why? What's wrong?"

"Demi, I need you to go home. Now. Demi, I need you to go home, do you hear me?"

"Mom, NO. I'm with Joe. I'm FINE. What is wrong with you?!"

"Demi, listen to me. Go home with uncle Jason, okay?"

"WHY?!"

"…The police tracked Trace, okay? They know where he's at. Okay? You're not safe, honey. You're not safe. You need…. You need to go home."

"Where is he at mom?"

"….He's in Key West."


	14. Leave

My mother's words rang in my ears. I didn't let them fully sink in until I heard nothing but the dial tone at the other end of the phone. Trace is here. He's in Key West. He found me…. Key West is only but so big. How long would it take for him to find out where I am?

The pleasures from the meaningful sex that Joe and I just had are completely wiped away. I'm in full panic mode now.

I rush around the room to grab my clothes. I grab my shorts and yank them on. I grab my shirt and yank it on too. I slide on my flip flops quick. I hardly realize that I'm crying. I have to leave, and I have to leave fast. I grab my purse. Joe is still in the shower.

I can't just leave him… I can't leave him just like this… But I have to leave him. Trace is crazy, and he will stop at NOTHING to have me back. I can't be here without putting Joe in grave danger. I grab my jacket fast, and stop by the bathroom where Joe's in the shower. "Joe?" I call to him through my tears.

"Yeah baby?" he says back.

"…I love you." I say to him. I mean that, too. I really do love Joe.

"I love you too, baby." He says.

I turn and leave from the bathroom. I can never see Joe again after today. And though I know that never seeing him again is for the best, I can't help but sob. I'm grateful for the memories I have with him, though.

I scramble up the stairs to leave Joe's house. I don't have a car with me, but I can make it home in five minutes on foot. I hear the shower downstairs stop as I leave out Joe's front door.

I start to run as fast as I can until I get tired. I run faster and faster until I'm so tired that I have to walk. I breathe heavy through tears, and trudge up the steps to the door to my aunt and uncle's. I walk through the door.

"Demi? Thank god!" my aunt exclaims as soon as I walk through the door. She hugs me tight, and I just cry. I'm crying because I'm scared. I'm scared of what Trace is gonna do to me. But I cry more so for the fact that I can never see Joe again.

"It's gonna be okay, Demi. Uncle Jason got the police looking for him, okay? It's gonna be fine, honey…" she reassures me. I just nod my head and cry some more. I walk over to the couch and lay down. I cry.

I want to go see Joe so bad. I want him to hold me in his arms while I sleep, endlessly and dreamlessly forever. I want to kiss his soft lips and feel the way he breathes on my neck while he's holding me. I just want Joe.

But to have Joe means to have him in danger. And I can't put Joe in danger. I can't. So I can't speak to him.

But maybe… I could just talk to him…

It's not fair to keep Joe in the dark about this. Surely he'd be wondering where I'm at right now. He's probably worried. What if he thinks I'm not talking to him again? What if I just lost Joe forever?

I pick up my phone and call him first, still crying.

He answers on the first half of a ring.

"Demi…. Demi. I'm sorry… please come back?" he pleads with me.

I sniff hard, "It's not your fault, Joe. I love you…"

"Then why'd you leave me, Demi? can I come over?"

"NO. Joe, you can't come over and I can't either. I have to be alone right now…"

"Demi, please…." He's crying now, which is breaking my heart.

"Joe, I can't talk to you right now… but… I love you…"

"Demi, don't hang up… please. Tell me what's wrong? Please tell me?" he sniffs. I can hear honking in the background while he's talking to me.

"Joe… where are you at? Don't do anything stupid." I say firmly.

"I'm not doing anything stupid, Demi. I'm almost at your house. If you really don't want to see me, then I'll leave. But I'll be there in a minute. Please tell me what's bothering you?"

"GO HOME, JOE. GO HOME."

"….I love you though, Demi."

"I love you too, but GO HOME."

"if you love me, then why don't you want to see me?"

"I do, Joe. but it's because I love you that I can't see you… I can't see you because I love you…"

"Why'd you just leave like that?"

"Go home, Joe."

"open the door for me." He hangs up.

Against my better judgment, I roll off the couch in a daze. I open the door for Joe, and he's standing before me. His eyes are puffy and red. He still has tears streaming down his face. I just stare at him.

He sniffs one good time, and more tears spill over his eyelids. I embrace him tightly, and kiss his lips roughly. He picks me up and kisses me hard back.

"You're so stupid, Demi. you're so stupid. Why'd you leave me like that?" He yells at me angrily. He's kissing me between his harshly spoken words. "You're so stupid."

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry." I apologize. I'm crying too. "I'm so sorry…" I kiss Joe hard and passionately.

"Why'd you leave like that?!" he screams at me. He's holding me so tightly that I can't move. And I don't want to.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking…. Something came up, and I just… I'm sorry…"

"What came up?" he asks calmer now, but still angry.

"Nothing, Joe. Just don't worry about it."

I pull myself out of this moment, and remember the reason that I left him.

"Joe, you can't be here… you have to leave." I say.

"Demi, you can go to hell. I'm not leaving you." He kisses my lips again.

I sigh reluctantly, and open the door for him to follow me inside. I'll get him to leave a little later. I know it's selfish of me to keep Joe in danger just so that I can have him for my own personal gain, but I'll deal with self-doubt later.

My aunt and Iz are upstairs getting ready to take a nap, so me and Joe have the downstairs to ourselves.

We both lay together on the couch. Joe lays on the bottom, and I lay on top of him. He wraps his arms around my lower back and squeezes me tight. I kiss him, and we both lay there in silence.

"…Demi? what came up?" he asks me again.

I'm not ready to tell him yet, so I just put it off.

"Don't worry about it…" I suck in a breath.

I know that my time with Joe is limited. It's only a matter of time before Trace finds out where I am, and tries to attack me again.

Joe strokes my hair and kisses me on my cheek. "You can tell me anything, baby girl…"

I nod. I know that I can tell Joe anything. I just can't tell him what I want to tell him, because it means danger for him. I could never live with myself if Joe got hurt.

Joe and I stay quiet for quite some time, and I feel myself slipping into a restful slumber. He rubs my arms lightly and whispers, "I love you…"

I don't want to go to sleep, so I fight it.

I think I drifted off a little, because I begin to dream.

I dream of brilliant orange and red flames, dancing across a windowpane inside of a house that I'm stuck in.

"MMMM!" I whine loud as I hit Joe softly on the chest with my fist.

"Shhh…. It's okay…" he hushes me. I settle down a bit.

"…Joe?"

"What honey?"

"….He found me… he's here…. And I have to leave… cause…. I'm not safe…" I choke out through my sleepy, heavy monotone.

I hear Joe's breathing halt to a stop for a brief moment. He sighs, then holds me a little tighter.

"Demi? go to sleep baby…" he says.

I nod slowly. I guess it won't hurt to go to sleep.

I close my heavy eyes and let myself drift slowly to sleep.

I can feel in the surrounding tension that Joe is a little bit pissed off, to say the least.

"Demi?" he calls me in a grumpy yet passionate voice.

"hmmm?" I grumble hazily.

"…when are you gonna realize?"

"…huh?"

"When are you gonna realize that there is no safer place in this world for you… than here in my arms?"

I drift off to sleep peacefully.


	15. Seeing Double

When I wake up, I'm not on the couch in Joe's arms where I fell asleep at.

I open my still heavy eyes and check my surroundings. I'm still home. I'm upstairs in my own bed. I'm alone, and there is a note on the pillow beside me. I pick the note up and blink until my vision is clear.

"_Babe,_

_I went to grab you something to eat. Your stomach was growling in your sleep. KEEP THE DOOR LOCKED AT ALL TIMES. Don't move until I come back, okay? I love you so much. I'll be back soon, I promise. I love you, Demi._

_-Joe._"

I sit up and pull my hair away from my face. I sigh hard. I slept pretty well, and yes, I am hungry. I can't wait for Joe to get home. To pass the time, I decide to get in the shower. I haven't taken a shower since Joe and I started having sex in the bathtub back at his house, and even then, it wasn't a real bath. It's very rare for me to go that long without a bath. I smell my own body odor, and I'm disgusted with myself. How does Joe love me again?

I strip out of my clothes and head to the bathroom. I step into a hot shower and wash myself thoroughly. First my arms, my armpits, my stomach, my back, my butt, my crotch, my legs, my feet, and finally my face. I shave my legs, my armpits, and leave my crotch alone. I even wash my hair because it's been a while for that too. When I'm so clean that my hands squeak across my body, I shut off the water and get out.

I decide to make myself a little more ladylike for Joe. I rub my body down with vanilla scented lotion that I bought from Bath and Body Works, and brush the thick layer of plaque off my teeth. I really was gross. I put some face-lotion on, and finally go to get dressed. I put on some deodorant and some baby powder between my legs. I throw on some underwear, a comfortable bra, pink plaid pajama pants and a white cami. I tie my wet hair up into a bun and shove my glasses on. I feel better about presenting myself to Joe.

I go downstairs and sit on the couch to wait for him. I flick on the TV and scroll through the channels. I've been so detached from reality while here in Key West that we could have been under a terrorist attack, and I wouldn't know it. I turn on Made on MTV.

Part of me wonders how long ago Joe left. I don't want to call him and seem like a bother, so I just wait it out. He can't be too much longer…

I grab my phone off the table in front of me and unlock it. I guess calling my mother wouldn't hurt. I dial her number. I get her voicemail. Maybe she's just busy. I call my dad instead. Still no answer. Maybe it's my phone… I call the local pizza place, just to test it. It goes to voicemail too. Is my phone off? Did someone forget to pay my bill? I sigh. My mom was supposed to pay my bill for me online. I go to the kitchen and grab the house phone. I dial my mom's number, but when I push the "call" button, the dial tone stays.

I mumble a curse word, and go back to the living room.

There's a solid knock on the door. Finally, Joe's here. I'm starving and I miss him.

Instead of looking out the window to see if it really is Joe, I just fling the door open.

Big…. Big mistake.

He is standing there in front of me, tattoos, greasy hair and all. He is smiling, yellow teeth bared. His eyes are wild, hungry for me. He licks his lips into a more menacing smile. He takes one step toward me. He says something, but I can't hear through my own heartbeat in my ears. I… am scared.

I reach for the door to shut it, and I succeed. I fumble with the chain lock on the door, but he opens it again. My only defense is to run. I turn and bolt for the back door in the kitchen. But I do not run fast.

I make it a little past the stove before he finally catches up to me. I'm crying. He has my arm in his tight grip, but I still push to get away. I'm trying to run.

He gets fed up with my struggling, and hoists me onto the kitchen table with little effort.

I try to swallow it back as best as I can. I don't want to let it loose. I want to hold it back, because if I don't, it'll make him even madder. I don't want him to hit me. But I can't hold it back. I hunch my shoulders and throw up all over him. I cover my mouth quick. I can't believe I did that. He's raving now. He is extremely angry.

My heart finally stops beating so loud, and I hear the truckload of swear words he's yelling at me.

"Fuckin' bitch," is all I hear. I hop down from the table as best as I can and try to flee again. He grabs me by my slick, wet hair. He slams me on the ground.

"Long time no see, eh princess?" he asks me, his voice still as horrible as before. I scream, as only I can.

"You thought you could just get away, huh?"

I scream until my throat burns. He steps on my ankle hard, and I hear it crack. I can't run if I wanted to... He swiftly pulls off his vomit-soiled shirt and throws it to the side. His body is nearly blue from all the tattoos he has. I need to throw up again.

"You really thought you could leave ME?!" he screams at me. I scream so loud that my own ears ring.

He drops down to the floor and gets into my ear, "Stop screaming or I'll break your fucking nose."

Weakly, because I AM weak, I stop screaming. My bottom jaw is trembling and my tears are ruined with heavy tears. I don't want to be treated like this. I have to fight back.

"How long did you think you would escape me, princess? Hmm? In case you haven't realized, you aren't smart enough to pull this off… change your phone number if you wanna get rid of me. It was too easy to track your calls." He plants a nasty kiss on my lips. I swear, my mouth burns like hell when he kisses me. I spit at him, and almost instinctively, he reacts with a hard slap across my cheek. That didn't hurt. I could take worse.

I prop myself back up on my elbows, and he pushes me back down. I'm almost sure that my ankle is broken. Running is not an option. But he won't beat me without difficulty. Not this time.

My phone is buzzing like hell beside me. I look over at the ID, and Joe's calling. I'd give one of my limbs to answer it. Trace looks over at my phone and smirks. "That your little boyfriend? Huh? Bet you couldn't be with that little pansy if he were dead, now could you? I've seen him too, princess. He's pretty weak without you. It'd be so easy to just… shoot. You know?"

"JOE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, LEAVE HIM OUT OF IT!" I scream at him. I don't know, but when he mentioned Joe's name, something inside me snapped. I'd rather him hurt me than Joe.

Trace drops back down beside me on the floor and whispers in my ear, "Did you let him fuck you?" his breath is enough to make me want to bash his skull in. "Did you let him inside your pussy, princess?" his language is vulgar, and I just want to strangle him. "Answer me…Princess."

I bite my lip hard at him, "Yes. And it was better than any time I've ever had sex with you, fucker." I say that to him with sting in my delivery. I want his pride to hurt. "And I'd rather FUCK him any day of the week than to have sex with you. You're DIRT. You're NOTHING to me. You're lower than DIRT, you jackass." I let my mouth run too long, and he slaps me again. I shut up.

"He was better than me? Well, now. Let's just change that…" he says with a laugh that drowns out an S. I punch him solidly in his chest, and that doesn't really phase him. He forcibly opens my legs and positions himself between them. This is just like old times…

"GET OFF ME! GET OFF!" I scream so loud that my voice gives out. I grip his hair hard so that he will get off me. I pull, and I hear the ripping of his skull as a clump of his hair comes out in my hand.

"Bitch," he mumbles. Predictably, he hits me. But this time, he throws a punch in the bridge of my nose and I can't breathe without tasting blood. I feel him yank down my pajama pants. My panties come with them. "You remember how this used to be?! Huh?! You're mine! Always will be!"

"..i….i'd rather die than go back living with you." I say shakily.

He shoves himself inside of me. My body locks up, and it hurts. It doesn't feel anything like the passionate love I made with Joe. He is ice cold and bone hard. He holds me down by my wrists and pumps his manhood in and out of me. I try to close my legs around him to force him out. Screaming is useless, so I just cry. "Get off of me…" I whisper. He's hurting me. I'm not sure why, but it feels like he's going in and out of me with a serrated knife. It hurts so badly.

"But he's better, right?" he murmurs in my ear. He yanks down my cami and my bra, and pulls one of my breasts into his mouth. He clamps his teeth down on one of my nipples, and I yelp. I try the hair pulling again. Another clump comes out in my hand.

"He's better right?" he asks again, out of breath and obviously feeling pleasure.

"he's better…" I insist.

"Really? Cause you're enjoying me pretty much. You're wet as fuck."

Am I wet down there? Why would I be? I'm not feeling pleasure from this. I'm hurting really bad. Why would I be wet?

He looks down at me, smirking as he pushes and pulls his lower body in and out at a steadfast pace. I can hardly see his face over the bridge of tears in my eyes. I blink, and the tears spill over and puddle around my ears.

I grab my phone slowly, still crying. I check the time. It's only 5:00. I just woke up from bed a half hour ago, but it feels like he's been raping me for hours now. And I can't get him to stop.

The irritation leaves my body, and complete shame washes over my body. When will he just stop? I'm ashamed of myself for letting this happen, and I just cry. I want him to stop so badly, I would give anything for him to just stop. I feel used, ashamed, and hurt. With every thrust, he takes more and more of my humanity away.

I stop fighting him back, and just let him have his way with me. I don't open my legs or anything, but I do just let him win. He keeps pumping in and out of me, groaning louder and louder as he's closer to finishing. I sniff and more tears fall to my ears.

I close my eyes, and he finally pulls himself out of me. I don't open my eyes. I feel the air shift, and he gets off me. I still don't open my eyes, but tears seep through my closed lids. I'm breathing hard and heavy because my tears are heaving me. I feel him slap lightly at my face. My eyes are still closed. The slapping continues.

"Open your fuckin mouth…" he demands. I feel him dig his fingernails into my face. I open my mouth, and I immediately taste the blood from my nose. He shoves something (I know what that something is, I just hope I'm wrong) into my mouth. It's thick and hard and I gag. I finally open my eyes so that I can confirm what this something is. He's hunched over me, on his knees, and he is in my mouth like I thought. I freak out, and bite the shit out of it.

He screams in pain, and picks me up by my throat. I cry a little louder, and he slams me into the kitchen table. My head bangs off the leg of steel table, and I can't see. I hold my head, and struggle to keep a hold on my consciousness.

My vision is fuzzy and I can't make out much of anything. I feel that my ear is bleeding, and my head hurts so bad. I'm seeing doubles, I think. I see two Traces, both of them fighting with each other. The one Trace is bigger, obviously the real Trace. The big Trace is choking the little Trace with very little mercy. I hear cries of pain coming from little Trace. I cough a little, and I cough up something. I pick up what I coughed up. It's a shiny, silver thing.

It just dawns on me what it is that I coughed up….

Trace did have a piercing down there…. I must have ripped it out with my teeth….

My vision becomes completely cloudy, and I fade fully out of consciousness.


	16. The Choice

_Beep…. Beep….Beep….Beep….Beep…Beep._

I open my eyes. My vision is still a little fuzzy, and I have the worst headache of my entire existence.

_Beep….Beep….Beep….Beep….Beep….Beep._

I look around at my surroundings. Bright lights are shining above my head and there is a blonde lump of something at the foot of my bed.

_Beep….Beep….Beep….Beep….Beep….Beep._

I look down at my arms. There's an IV in one of my arms and a pulse detector on my finger. I look at the blonde lump.

"…Mom?" I say. My voice is hoarse and muggy.

The blonde lump lifts up, and I blink. When I blink, my vision becomes clearer. It is my mom.

"Demi? honey…" she says. She kisses my head and holds me. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay…" I lie. "…What time is it?" My head hurts really bad, my nose feels like it's full, ankle is throbbing, and I feel so sore between my legs. I wasn't dreaming. That really did happen.

"It's a little bit after three in the afternoon, baby."

"How long was I out?"

"Not long, baby. They gave you drugs to help you sleep… you've been out for a little under a day."

I squirm a little bit uncomfortably. All that happened yesterday? "…Where is he mom?" I ask. I feel well enough to get out of this hospital. I feel well enough to go see Joe. but I need to know if he hurt Joe.

"He won't be bothering you anymore, baby." She says with tears in her eyes.

"How come, mom? How come?"

"…He's gone, Demi. he's gone. He died, baby."

I feel a sense of relief wash over me. I'm not saddened by his death. I'm not at all saddened. I start to cry. I feel relieved, I feel fresh, I feel new. I feel… different.

"…How, mom? How did he die?" I ask through my rejoicing tears. Though I'm happy, I won't be able to live with the thought that I killed him. Did he bleed to death after I bit him? How did he die? I can't live with myself if I killed him…

"Choked to death. Joe came to bring you some food, honey. He found him in the kitchen with you. And Joe… choked him. Fine kid, that Joe. He really is something…"

"Joe? where's Joe?!"

"He was only questioned by the police, honey. It's alright."

So…. The two Traces I saw…. One was Joe. One was Joe beating the shit out of Trace. I wasn't seeing double after all. Oh my god, I wasn't seeing double. Joe killed Trace. OH MY GOD.

"Oh my god, mom. Are they going to lock him up for killing him? Is he okay? Is he going to jail?" I'm worried sick now. I think Joe might be going to prison for this.

"Demi, calm down honey. Calm down. He's fine. Joe's fine. I don't think they're gonna do anything to him. They just wanted to question him. He's not under arrest of anything. They know he did it to defend you."

I calm down a little bit, but not much. "When can I get out of this hospital?" I ask.

"As soon as the doctor releases you, baby. We're gonna go home, honey. I have your things packed up from Aunt Kathy's, and I bought both of our plane tickets. It's time to take you home sweetie. No more Florida."

"NO. I'M NOT LEAVING. WHERE'S JOE?"

"Demetria, you don't live here in Florida. We're going home honey."

"MOM, NO. I CAN'T LEAVE HIM… I LOVE HIM." I'm crying by now. My mom is wiping my tears away and hugging me.

"Demi, we have to go back to California. That's where our family is, baby."

"Please don't make me leave Joe…"

"Why can't Joe come visit you? You've been in Florida long enough, he can come to California."

"He can't mom…"

"Why can't he, Demi?"

"BECAUSE HE'S MARRIED!"

My mom's jaw…drops.

Needless to say, she won't approve.

* * *

My mom gave me two hours to say goodbye to Joe. She doesn't like me with him anymore. Now that she knows he's married, I mean. I only have two hours with him before I have to get on a flight to California and leave him.

She takes me back to my aunt and uncle's, and I don't even go inside the house. I hop right into the black convertible and speed off to Joe's house. I have to find a way to get him to stay with me. I have to.

I make it to Joe's house in about two minutes.

I'm always supposed to call Joe before I come over, just to make sure Camilla isn't there. But this time, I don't really care. I just have to see him.

I get out the car and walk right up to the door. I ring the doorbell. I wait for a few minutes. My ankle is throbbing, my head still hurts and my privates are sore. But I want to see Joe.

The door opens, and it isn't Joe. It's Camilla.

"…Excuse me. You're not welcome here." She says awkwardly politely.

I don't care what she says. I push past her, and she huffs her breath at me. "JOE!" I scream up the steps. I go all over his house in search of him. "JOE!"

"You need to leave. You need to get out of MY house." Camilla snaps.

"JOE! COME ON! JOE!" this ankle brace is rubbing against my heel and it burns.

"You have five seconds to get out of my house or I'll put you out myself!"

"…Where's Joe?" I ask her.

"None of your business. He's MY husband now get out."

"Please tell me where he's at…" I'm crying.

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, LITTLE GIRL."

I ignore her and push downstairs to their bedroom. She follows me.

"JOE!"

"Demi, what's wrong?" I finally hear his voice come from the bathroom. He comes out the bathroom and stands before me. He has scratches on his face, probably from the fight with Trace.

I don't realize, but I'm hysterical. I'm a crying mess. Camilla stands beside me.

"Get out of my house, NOW." She yells at me.

I ignore her again.

"Joe… Joe… please?" I cry to him. He doesn't come over to me and hold me like he usually does when I'm crying. So I just walk to him with my arms outstretched. He puts my arms down, looking past me at Camilla. I sob a little louder.

Why is he turning me away?

"Joe, please…" I beg him.

He looks at Camilla. She is seething with anger.

"…Please what, Demi?" he asks.

"….I'm leaving in two hours…. I'm going back to California…. Will you come with me?"

I look at myself in the mirror beside their dresser. I realize how pathetic I look. My hair is curly around my chest. I have a band aid on a spot on my forehead, right above my eye. I have bruises around my wrists where Trace grabbed me. I'm standing between a married man and his wife, asking him to choose me. Pathetic.

"Demi… I can't just leave… I mean…" he stutters.

Camilla walks over to him and hugs him around his waist. She kisses him on his cheek and rubs his chest. He doesn't do anything.

"…You said… you said you'd choose me. You said you would…" I'm sobbing.

"I know what I said, Demi… but…"

"He's sorry, but he has to be here. He's sorry but he won't leave me just because some delusional little girl has a crush on him." Camilla says.

I realize that what she said is true. I'm a delusional eighteen year old little girl with a crush on a twenty-one year old married man. I can't expect him to choose me…

"Demi… Camilla is… my wife. And… you know I don't want to hurt you… but I have to… she's…. Demi…. I'm…. I wanna be a dad. And…. I can't be… a dad with you. I want to…" joe starts.

"I'll have your baby. I'll have lots of little babies with you…." I interrupt him.

"But Camilla thinks… I mean… Demi, she's already… she might be…" he stutters again.

I look away from him and nod. I knew he'd choose her. I did know… I knew. I expected this. I'm just a silly little girl…

"But we… we made love..." I remind him.

"It was only sex, Demi."

"What are you asking from me, Demi? I mean, it's a little much, don't you think? We both knew that this would happen…" he says. Joe is about to cry.

"…I'm asking you to choose. Choose me. Choose me because I love you. Choose me because… because I won't treat you like she does. I will love you until the day you die. I will never pick fights with you. Choose me because I love you. Choose me because you love me. Choose me because you remember the many nights on the boardwalk, the night in the ocean, the time we made love, the time you took me to your parents' house. Choose me, Joe. choose me. Demi…" I say to him, shaking and overcome with tears.

Camilla rolls her eyes.

"Or…. You can let me go. I promise I won't love you any less. I'll go back to California… and leave you alone. Just… at least invite me to the baby shower." I put my head down. I lost him. I lost the only man I've ever loved.

Joe is silent, tears falling from his eyes.

"Time to go now, little girl." Camilla says. She grabs my hand and leads me to the door. She hurts my ankle in the process.

"Ow…." I whimper. She doesn't stop dragging me to the door. I start to cry and sob loudly. I'm so loud that I probably sound like a baby. I'm moaning while I'm crying, and I don't even care. I feel like my heart has just been ripped out my chest. I just lost Joe.

"Out the door you go, honey." Camilla teases. She opens the door, and my ankle is burning.

"Ow… ow…." I'm whining.

"CAMILLA! GET OFF HER!" I hear Joe yell.

I look up, and he is standing in the doorway, his face hard and expressionless. His eyes are red from tears.

"I'm just showing her out the door, baby." Camilla says innocently.

"Get your hands off her."

Camilla stops touching me instantly.

"Babe, do you want some pizza?" she asks Joe, trying to change the subject.

"No…" he answers her.

"A hoagie then?"

"No…"

"How about some pasta baby? Your favorite…"

"Shut up…"

"….What?"

"…I'm done, Camilla. I'm…. done. I don't want this anymore."

"Joe, WHAT?"

"Demi told me to choose… and I promised her I'd choose her. So I'm choosing her… I'm choosing her because I love her with all my heart. She makes me a better man. You only made me cheat…"

I want to scream and run into Joe's arms. I have a bad ankle though.

"…I don't love you, Camilla. I've been trying to talk myself into loving you… but I can't. I love Demi. I love her with every inch of my being. I'll always… care about you. But… I can't be with you… when my heart is with her."

He walks over to me and embraces me. Camilla is crying, but Joe doesn't care. Neither do I. She treated him like shit. Now he's mine.

I kiss him, and he takes it upon himself to kiss me with tongue, passionately and lovingly. I rub his back and he holds me tight.

"I love you… I love you, more than I love myself." He says to me.

I smile and look up at him, "Love me enough to kill someone over me." I say with a laugh.

"Exactly…" he says with a smile back.

He hoists me into his arms and cradles me. "I don't want you walking on your ankle baby… I'll carry you… I'll carry you back to California if I need to." He chuckles and opens the door.

"Joe… baby…" Camilla says as he shuts the door on her. I smile so happily. I kiss him again.

"What about your family?" I ask him.

"I'll come back to Pensacola in a week to see them… you're all I care about right now, Demi."

"I love you, Joe."

"I love you too…"

He carries me to the car and slides me in. I start crying again. It's a wonder that I didn't run out of tears.

"Stop crying, baby. You'll never have to cry again with me beautiful."

I smile as he starts driving back to my aunt and uncle's.

"…So…" he starts with that goofy grin on his face.

"So what?" I ask him, smiling too.

"…What you said about having lots of little babies with me?"

I laugh a whole lot, "Joe…"

"I just hope you stay true to that promise…"

"I will…"

"We don't have to be married to have babies, right?" he asks with a grin.

"….I'd prefer to be." I answer truthfully.

"…As you wish." He says back. "Promise me that we'll have babies though?"

"I promise, Joe."

We seal that promise with a single kiss.


End file.
